Friday, November 26

Thanksgiving in Australia

This is only going to be short because I have to catch a bus soon but it's been so long since I wrote anything that I thought I would tell you about my first Thanksgiving.
Like everyone should be aware, Thanksgiving is not celebrated in Australia but because of the abundance of American exchange students staying on my floor at college we decided that we would have a Thanksgiving dinner.
I can't decide if my favourite part was cooking, eating or making turkey hands.

My turkey hand, Roboturkey. He fights for turkey rights across America, trying to save the birds from being consumed on Thanksgiving day.

Everyone attending the dinner had to bring something to eat and I made Cheesecake. Hanging out in the kitchen as everyone baked, making roast veggies, some weird sweet potato thing with marshmallows (that was delicious) and even a turkey, was really fun. As they say in Questionable Content "Baking is science for hungry people" and we all know that science is pHun. (Okay, I'll stop with the science jokes because math and science puns are basically the first sine of madness).
The meal was amazing and so was dessert. We have so much food left over that we won't have to go to our horrible college dinner for a week. People loved my cheesecake (yay!) and I loved basically everything there.
After dinner we all said what we were thankful for and there was an enormous amount of tears and hugging.
I didn't stay long after that. My NaNoWriMo has been driving me insane and I was behind on my word count so I needed to get some work done. I hear everyone went out clubbing, got extremely drunk and passports were lost. Some days I am particularly glad I don't drink.
In closing, Thanksgiving was an amazing night, probably one of my favourite college experiences so far.

Monday, November 22

A Few of My Favourite Things

  1. Warm cinnimon donuts
  2. Late night walks while eating lemon sorbet
  3. Lemon sorbet
  4. Glow-in-the-dark stars
  5. Walking with a skip in your step on sunny days
  6. Dancing like crazy while eating chocolate ice cream straight from the container
  7. 3am writing sessions
  8. Laying in bed listening to the rain
  9. The smell of rain and wet concrete
  10. Walks in the park while wearing pretty dresses
  11. Whatever my current obsession happens to be
  12. Friday night burger night followed by LAN-gaming
  13. Reading a book curled up on a window seat
  14. Researching bizarre topics just for the hell of it
  15. Gripping conversations with fellow obsessers

Sunday, October 17

A Hint

"Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go and find out what they're doing. Do things without always knowing how they'll turn out...
...You're curious and smart and bored, and all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. There are so many adventures that you miss because you're waiting to think of a plan. To find them look for tiny interesting choices. And remember that you are always making up the future as you go."

-Choices, xkcd

Monday, October 11

Boring Examples of Literary Techniques

I haven't blog properly in ages and, rather than make it up to you with something fantastic, I'm just going to give you a quick update and leave you with this a boring exercise.

University is keeping me busy and I'll be more busy next month when I do NaNoWriMo again. The plan is to write a fantasy-western but since I've never written fantasy or western before, nor read any western and hardly read fantasy, I can't hope for much.
It's basically the story of a young, mood-based shapeshifter who goes on a quest to find his parents fighting in a war on the Frontier. Once I'm finished planning my plot I'll hopefully upload it and you can give me ideas for a title.

Now for the boring exercise:

Of the top of your head, give me examples of these literary techniques:

Alliteration: Ridiculous remixed rap (because the girl in the room opposite is playing obnoxiously loud, bad, music)

Irony: A hippy getting eaten by the animal it is trying to save

Metaphor: The lights were deafening

Oxymoron: fun-run

Paradox: 21 days since this sign was changed

Simile: Like starving wolves counting sheep we close our eyes, pretending to sleep. (Listening to the Alkaline Trio)

Monday, September 6

My Weirdest Fictional Crushes

You've probably learnt by now that I love writing posts about my favourite fictional men. I'm a crazed fangirl, I admit it, and I'm here today to share with you some of my weirder crushes.
Shan Yu - Mulan: Shan Yu is the bad guy from Disney's Mulan. He is obnoxious, he is ugly, he is impossible to like, yet for some crazy reason, I have a mega crush on him. He's just so badass (from now on referred to as BA). I like a lot of guys simply because they're badass and Shan Yu is one of them.
Scar - The Lion King: Last night I was talking to a friend about Disney crushes and it sort of went like this:
Me: I'm in love with most Disney guys. Hero or villain. The bad guy from Mulan, Shang, Scar, Aladdin-
Her: Wait, back up for a minute. Did you just say you're in love with a Lion?
Scar is another BA guy. He is misunderstood and an outcast. Sure, he did some really bad stuff but still- Alright. There's no point defending him. I know he's evil. But he's sexy evil. I mean, for a lion.
Jafar - Aladdin: This is my last for the Disney villains, I promise. You must admit, Jafar is one of the coolest Disney bad guys. Besides him being an utter BA, the reason I love he so much is the song he sings, the Prince Ali Reprise. Only a true villain would taunt the hero with his own song.
Trunks and Vegeta - Dragonball Z: The fact that I love Trunks and Vegeta isn't weird because they're anime characters, because I have a lot of those, nor that they're from Dragonball Z (I've been criticised for crushing on DBZ characters). It's weird because of the father son thing. I love Vegeta because he's BA, dark and moody (and evil). I love Trunks because he's, well, the opposite (except still BA). And he has a sword. This isn't my only father-son fling, I also have a crush on Atticus and Jem Finch, which could really be considered weirder, since Jem is twelve or something and I'm almost nineteen.
The Scout - Team Fortress 2: This is all levels of weird. For starters, he's a computer game character. And not only that, he's this computer game character. I have absolutely no explanation for why I'm crushing on him. It's weird, I know. That's why it's on this list.
Harbouring and bizzare crushes of your own? I want to know.

Friday, August 20

When I'm an Old Woman...

Hi all! *Penguins looks around at all the skeletons occupying the room* ...Hmm... Maybe I was away on hiatus for a little longer than I expected...

But I'm back now! (Hopefully).

I've been very busy this past month getting ready to start university. I'm at college now and I've had my orientation week and my first week of classes. I've been hanging out with all the international students from America, sitting on the edge of my seat the whole way through my Cultural Heritage lecture and drinking a lot of hot chocolates from the incredible coffee machine in my college lobby.

I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but have been very slow at getting around to it. My inspiration for this post came from this brilliant poem by Jenny Joseph. I'm pretty keen to be the same type of old woman as her.

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

  • I'll tell it as it is. Ask me for my opinion and you'll get my honest opinion. Even if you don't ask, you're likely to get my honest opinion.
  • I'll wear clothes that haven't been fashionable since before I was born, just because they're comfortable.
  • My hair will be white but always with an inexplicable shade of blue or purple.
  • My walking stick will be your worst enemy, second only to my wit (Assuming I get more witty with age)
  • Since I never drank in my youth I will drink like my life depends on it.
  • I will wear leather and go to rock concerts and then complain that the music is too loud.
  • I will steal pens from the bank, even if this means I need wire-cutters.
  • I will forget to turn my hearing aid on and loose my glasses on the top of my head, and then ignore you when you try and help me or tell me what I've done wrong.
  • I'll stand too close to paintings at the art galley and flirt with the guards when they try to remove me.
  • I'll hog the swing set at the children's playground and use my grandchildren as an excuse to participate in the kids activities at the museum.
  • I will complain about "kids these days" and how it was never like that in my youth, even though it was.
  • I'll spend all day in bed reading large print books.
  • I will find Mills and Boon's great literature.
  • I will apply for jobs at fast food restaurants and get fired for being vulgar to the customers.
  • ‎Like Chandler says in Friends: "If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y'know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies! Kids won't walk past my place, they will run. 'Run away from Crazy Snake Man!' they'll shout"

All in all, I'll be an obnoxious old lady. How about you?

Wednesday, July 14


Alright! So my idea for writing a story together with my fellow bloggers got an amazing eight responses. Since yesterday when I came up with the idea I've got the blog set up.
Our genre has been set: suspense thriller set in a dystopian sci-fi world with escapist fantasy undertones (thank you, Zella)
A forum for discussion has be created (thank you, Chairman):
And of course the blog has been created and the first post has been written:
Also, to be an author I need your email address so I can add you. If you don't want to write it in the comments here you can message it to me through the discussion board or if you are on twitter you can direct message me at Penguins_quack.

Tuesday, July 13

Who wants to write a story?

Okay. I just had this idea. I haven't really thought it through properly yet but I'm just going to jump in. 'Cause that's how I roll.
Did you ever do those stories either with your friends or in school where you write one part, another person writes the next and so on until it comes back to you?
Well that's my plan.
I've done it several times before with my friends with varied results but now I want to try it online with you guys. I pretty sure that everyone on here loves writing (otherwise why have a blog?) and I know you all rock at it.
If you'd like to be a part of it let me know in the comments and if I get enough volunteers I'll set up a blog and figure out how to make those who want to take part "authors" so they can add directly to the story.
In the comments also suggest genre and basic rules because I haven't thought this through properly yet.

Tuesday, June 29

My Life According to... the Books on my Bookshelf

You may remember a few months back I did, My Life According to Rise Against where I answered questions using only names of songs by my favourite band. Well today I decided to do the same thing, but rather than a band I'm using books from my bookshelf.

Using only titles from books on your bookshelf, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people you like and include me. Try not to repeat a title. It's a lot harder than you think!

Are you a male or female: The Other Boleyn Girl - Philippa Gregory

Describe yourself: the Historian - Elizabeth Kostova

How do you feel: Fear Drive my Feet - Peter Ryan

Where do you currently live: [Actual name of my town] (yeah, I have a book that is the history of my town, but I'm not relaying it here)

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: the Heaven Shop - Debora Ellis

Your favourite form of transportation: The Time Machine - H.G. Wells

Your best friend is: A Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett

You and your best friends are: Mostly Harmless - Douglas Adams

What's the weather like: Cloudstreet - Tim Winton

Favourite time of day: Twilight (yuck, I know, but I do love that time of day) - She Who Must Not Be Named

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Lady Dance - Jackie French

What is life to you: War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

Your relationship: Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

Your fear: Dracula - Bram Stoker

What is the best advice you have to give: Atonement - Ian McEwan

Thought for the Day: There's a Hippopotamus in the Playground Eating Cake - Hazel Edwards

How would you like to die: Entertaining Satan - John Demos

My soul's present condition: Meltdown - Andy McNab

My motto: I Wish I had a Pirate Suit - Pamela Allen

So now you know I love children's books. What does your bookshelf say about you?

Monday, June 21

Macbeth’s Progress into Villainy

I wrote this essay in year 10 while studying Macbeth. My teachers reply sort of went along the lines of "...maybe for a history essay...". Enjoy.

Once upon a time there was an ancient country known as Alba. The kings of Alba were elected, from a group of clan chiefs by their fellow chiefs and churchmen. One of these kings to be elected was King Duncan. But there was a problem with King Duncan. You see, Duncan kept fighting wars to expand his territories and while Duncan was off at war his people back in Alba were starving to death. Something had to be done so the chiefs and churchmen of Alba elected the Chief of Clan Moray as king instead.
Under the new king, things in Alba were looking pretty good. The new king had united the country for the first time. He made and enforced laws. Alba had become a place where the old and the sick were protected, and where women had equal rights. Under the new king Alba was peaceful and prosperous.
Now, at this time, outside of Alba in all the other countries, kings were not elected. Kingship was inherited. This caused many members of the royal family to resort to murder and war as they tried to gain kingship. Duncan’s son, Malcolm, had fled to one of these countries where kings were not elected. In this country it was believed that the king’s son became king no matter what. It didn’t matter how bad he was for the country. So the king of this country decided to help Malcolm raise an army and conquer Alba.
But Malcolm’s army couldn’t take Alba. After a failed invasion Malcolm resorted to sending assassins to murder the king of Alba.
The king of Alba was Macbeth.

Macbeth takes place in Scotland in the early eleventh century, which, at the time, was known as Alba. In the play, though, Shakespeare makes it more relevant and people-friendly by referring to the country by its modern name, Scotland. The above story of Alba is the story of “the real Macbeth”.
According to Irish, Norwegian and Scottish historians, Macbeth was, in most aspects, a very good king. Even lady Macbeth is said to have been an exceptionally wise queen. It was really only the English historian, Raphael Holinshed that claimed Macbeth wasn’t a good king. Holinshed was from England, the country that Malcolm had fled to and the country that had assisted Malcolm’s war against Macbeth. It could be more than possible that Holinshed held bias against Macbeth and that his view was coloured in favour of Malcolm and England. Holinshed’s history, the Chronicles of Scotland, also show little understanding of ancient Scottish laws which could have affected his view of Macbeth.
Holinshed is believed to be the only source that Shakespeare used when writing his play. Shakespeare portrayed Macbeth even worse than the villain Holinshed had depicted. The main aim of Shakespeare’s plays was to entertain and impress those in power, at the time this was King James, a descendent of Banquo. Because of James’ relation, Shakespeare played up Banquo, showing him as a hero and Macbeth the villain. The addition of the witches was also for the purpose of entertainment and to impress the king. James was known to have a hatred of witches.
I didn’t matter to Shakespeare that the facts he used or his portrayal of Macbeth weren’t true because sycophancy was more important in his profession than historical accuracy.
Macbeth’s progress into villainy started with an English historian, Rafael Holinshed, who wrote the Chronicles of Scotland without a full understanding of Scottish law or governance. Holinshed let his bias influence his portrayal of Macbeth and also likely wrote his history to please those in power. Similarly, using information form Holinshed’s history, Shakespeare manipulated facts in his play to please those in charge; creating the villain Macbeth is known as today.

After Macbeth’s murder his step-son, Lulach Macgillecomgain, was elected as the king of Alba but after many years of fighting Malcolm he too was assassinated and Malcolm became king by force. From Malcolm’s time onwards Scottish kings inherited the throne rather than being elected. The laws in Alba that had given equal rights and protected the poor were abolished.
Malcolm was the first king not to be buried at the sacred island of Iona.

Saturday, June 19

Recubo ut Servo Visio

My motto is recubo ut servo visio which is lie to save face in poorly translated Latin. But that is not why I was lying on Thursday so I think I should put the record straight.

1. When taking a group of year 7's for a primary school to high school support day I made a child cry by playing Parkway Drive

You guys guessed right. This one's false. It was actually my frienemy (friend-enemy) who did this. But I'm sad to say I'm not as nice as you think. Since this happened I have played Parkway Drive to little kids many times trying to replicated. Most of them just go Uh huh and raise their eyebrow at me.

2. When I was seven I scared my fish so much he knocked himself unconscious and we had to jam him between two rocks so he wouldn't float to the surface and suffocate.

You're right. This is true. I was pulling faces at the fish tank and it scared him so much he ran into a rock and knocked himself out. I've felt that I shouldn't go near animals ever since.

3. When I was in year six my friend had her Russ dog stuffed toy stolen and we staged a full scale investigation that included interrogations and dusting for prints.

False. For starters, it was my Russ dog that was stolen. I never staged a full scale investigation because when I told the teacher a girl in my class "mysteriously" found it in her school bag.

4. During this investigation 10-year-old Penguins made the cleaning lady cry.

Since the last one was false. this one obviously is too. The only thing I've ever done to a cleaning lady was clean the room for her before she arrive. She obviously noticed since there was a thank you not there the next morning.

5. I am married to my sister

Zella has been paying attention! This is obviously false (eew) but I did marry my e-sister on Facebook. Basically she sent me a sibling request and after I accepted I asked her if she wanted to find out if Facebook allowed incest. It does. Unfortunately Facebook does not take so kindly to bigamy.

6. When I was 7 I bit my tongue in half.

Things are about to get awkward for Tom Parker. This is half true. I did, in fact bite my tongue in half but I was nine, not seven. While playing a mean game of dodge ball I jumped of the slide while sticking out my tongue at the the person who was in. I hit my chin and bit my tongue in half. It hurt. There was lots of blood. I had to have it sown back together. (Feeling a little uncomfortable now, Tom?)

7. I once woke my brother up in the middle of the night for apparently singing the Pokemon theme song in my sleep. I don't even know the Pokemon theme song.
A blatant lie! I have never sung in my sleep and have never woken my brother by singing in my sleep. And I know EVERY word to the Pokemon theme song. And the PokeRAP. And the Digimon theme song. And... I need a life...

Thursday, June 17

Did Zella just call me a liar?

Thank you to the amazing and incredible Zella Kate who awarded me this award:

To accept this award, I need to:
  1. Thank the person who gave you the award
  2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog
  3. Link to the person who nominated you
  4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself and at least one outrageous truth, or vice-versa
  5. Nominate seven "creative" writers
  6. Post links to the blogs you nominate
  7. Leave a comment on each blog letting them know they've won the award.

So, seven things. Some are lies. Some are true. Some are lies that are part true. You need to decide which is which.

  1. When taking a group of year 7's for a primary school to high school support day I made a child cry by playing Parkway Drive
  2. When I was seven I scared my fish so much he knocked himself unconscious and we had to jam him between two rocks so he wouldn't float to the surface and suffocate.
  3. When I was in year six my friend had her Russ dog stuffed toy stolen and we staged a full scale investigation that included interrogations and dusting for prints.
  4. During this investigation 10-year-old Penguins made the cleaning lady cry.
  5. I am married to my sister.
  6. When I was 7 I bit my tongue in half.
  7. I once woke my brother up in the middle of the night for apparently singing the Pokemon theme song in my sleep. I don't even know the Pokemon theme song.

Alright! Tag time!


I look forward to seeing what you think is a lie and what's not :P

Tuesday, June 15

My Present

I love the dusty smell of rain on the pavement
I believe in fiction
I am happy when you make me laugh
I am uncomfortable if you scold me
I need to think this over
I think that smiles are one of the greatest things to exist
I have an instinct about Woolworths trucks (don't ask)
My dreams are cold and unrelenting.
It is important to brush your teeth
I am upset about my effed up leg
I find life funny.
I find humanity sad.
I am joyful about each degree and every change
I am waiting until my prince comes [hopefully] before I emerge from my dreamworld and face reality.
I am in love with fictional guys because they're better than breaking up and crying in the street
I am grieving about the mistakes I didn't learn from
I am concerned that I don't entirely make sense
I am conflicted by every choice presented to me.
I am confused that hate exists
I am angry that sometimes I can be so useless
I am sorry about my negativity
I am interested in books, music, movie, manga and other escapes from reality
I am thrilled by pushing deadlines
I would like to be in a fictional world.
I would like to have large paper wing that can take me through the layers of the cloud
I would like to change the world
I am scared that one day I will wake up
My most secret desire is secret to even myself.
I like it when things go my way
I dislike it when my brother sulks when things go my way, not his
I love how I dance when I want to. No. Matter. What.
I hate it when feel alone
I have the strangest feeling that things won't ever work out right. But I don't really care.
I find imperfection beautiful and it will never be bested
I find hate ugly as it dirties the best of us
I think my friends are silly because who could cope with me otherwise?
I think the world is tragic because humanity needs to pull itself together and shape up.
What no one realises about me is I mainly just listen to metal core to scare you.
I see small things. No big picture, but no details either.
I find it easy to hop on one foot
I find it hard to hop on no feet
I am at my best when asleep
I can do better
I am tired of just getting by
I am excited by childhood joys I'd forgotten I had
I hope that things get easier. In a challenging kind of way.
My destiny is to grow, to learn, to breath, to die

Sunday, June 13

Were Romeo and Juliet Fated to Die?

In year nine my class studied Romeo and Juliet and we were given the above essay question. The obvious answer was yes. The easiest option to argue was yes. Everyone in my class went with yes. I said no. This is the essay that earned me both 100% and a drawing of a cranky face in red pen. Keep in mind I was in year nine when I wrote this, over four years ago, so it may be a little dodgy.

I have to say No Way! Despite the strong reasons for it (I’m sure you can think of many), I have two reasons that totally over-rule all other arguments. Reason one: Every one has choices, Romeo and Juliet just made the wrong ones, if they made wiser decisions the out come would have been different, more than likely better. Reason two: is there really such a thing as fate? And if so what really is it?

It goes like this- everyone has choices, if Romeo and Juliet made wiser choices they mightn’t have died. For example, if Romeo hadn’t killed Tybolt and instead let the law handle it (Tybolt was going to be executed anyway) then Romeo wouldn’t have be banished and none of the following events would have taken place.
Then you’ve got Juliet faking her own death, if she had thought through her options (skip town for example) they may both have lived.
And you have to agree that turning to that priest was the stupidest thing they could have done. For starters, what kind of priest just so happens to have a date-rape drug lying around? One that can't be trust, that's what kind.

Secondly, the whole fate thing, does fate really exist? There are actually special people who dedicate their lives to trying to find this out. They are called metaphysicians and they try to solve questions that can’t be answered on factual terms. Some of these guys think that if the universe is rational it must be based on a sequence of cause and effect: Every action or effect, must be began by a cause and must form an unbroken chain of causation going back to the first cause, that is, God or the Devine.
So. For there to be fate there must also be a god.
But as the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy says there can be no god because of the existence of the Babel fish. I quote-
‘The argument goes like something like this: “I refuse to prove I exist,” says God, “for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”
‘ “But,” says man, “The Babel fish is a dead give away isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED”
‘ “Oh dear.” Says God, “I hadn’t thought of that,” and promptly vanishes into a puff of logic.’
So that also means that all the miracles we have ever had prove God doesn’t exist by the above argument.
So by proving that God doesn’t exist we prove that fate doesn’t either and thus Romeo and Juliet were not fated to die.

Romeo and Juliet were not fated to die because they couldn’t make a good choice to save their lives, literally. And because from a reliable source (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) I have been able to deduce that fate doesn’t exist so they couldn’t have been fated to do anything!
I rest my case.


What do you think? Did year nine Penguins Quack prove her point or do you have a different opinion about our star-crossed lovers?

Sunday, May 30

Bucket Lists!

I've been away for a bit over a week and, while I was planning of giving you a sort of summery of my trip, I am too tired to be bothered with that right now but I do want to post something. So, instead, here's something I've been meaning to post for a while.
Really, I have two bucket lists. I have my "Things to Do Before I Die" list as well as my "I've Just Been Told I Have Weeks to Live" list.
I'll give you them both:
Things to do before I die
  1. Buy O'Malley the Superman and Batman Vs Aliens and Predator comic book. Because who doesn't want to buy their brother something that sounds that ridiculously epic?
  2. Fall in love
  3. Kiss in the rain (romantic much?)
  4. Learn Japanese. I love Japanese culture and would love to go to Japan and I would like to be able to read manga in its original form and watch anime without dumb dubbing or subtitles.
  5. Hang out in Cargo for a day. Cargo is a small town (about 100 people) in the absolute middle of nowhere but has about a bajillion sign posts directing you to it when I drive from my place to my Grandma's. They say all roads lead to Rome, but they're wrong. All roads lead to Cargo.
  6. Bungy jump off a bridge
  7. Go to Vietnam, Europe, Britain, The US, Japan and Central America
  8. Take mum to France and cruising the Greek Isles. When mum backpacked around Europe she boycotted France because of the Rainbow Warrior and always regretted missing it so one day I'd like to take her there, and the Greek Isles has always been a dream of hers.
  9. Hang glide
  10. Scuba dive
  11. Go to the Triple J café. This is a small cafe that has existed as long as I can remember on the road to visit my Grandma and I have never once stopped at it but have always wanted too. One of the draws is also that it's called the Triple J cafe and that's my favourite radio station.
  12. Drive a tractor along Edwardstown road. Look, basically, this road is the most perfect road for tractor driving. It's a thin farmers track that weaves through paddocks and is just asking me to drive a tractor along it. How can I refuse?
  13. Attend the major NaNoWriMo write in. Every November during National Novel Writers Month there is a major write-in, a gathering of participants writing together, which people from all over the world attend. I must attend one of these.
  14. Go to the Freo markets.
  15. Eat seafood on the Freo wharf. I used to live in Perth and some of my fondest memories are from Fremantle. I just want to do those things again before I die.

I've Just Been Told I Have Weeks to Live

If, under the circumstance that I come down with some incurable disease and find out I only have a short time to live, my bucket list is simply the lyrics to I am Dying Tomorrow by the Alkaline Trio, which I know is sort of cheating, but they sum up everything for me.

I'm Dying Tomorrow

I'm dying tomorrow
This house, this street, Chicago
I'm dying tomorrow
Did I do it right?
Did I remember to sleep in?
Take lots of pills?
Commit irreversible sins?
Did I at least try to kiss the prettiest girl at the right time?
Did I remember to keep your beer as full as mine?
Did I remember to say cheers?
Did I at least try to make sure everybody had a good time?
Had the best time?
Did I remember to stay up late?
Drinking for the fun?
Singing for the taste?
Did I run outside to kiss the rain
Under electrical skies?
I'm dying tomorrow
This house, this street, Chicago
I'm dying tomorrow

Did I do it right?

Monday, May 17

My Revised List of Fictional Guys

Some people may remember my "I Prefer Guys Who Don't Exist" post from back in September last year? Well, after an 60+ comment argument with a friend on Facebook I realised I'd left quite a few guys off my list and have decided to update it. I should tell you that this argument was mainly me and my friend (who is listed as both my sister and wife on Facebook) arguing over who gets which Disney prince. The argument involved Napalm threats, page long rants of "MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE", something my brother's like to know as Skully's Rant and Robocop riding a unicorn. Eventually we came to the conclusion that I get Aladdin and the Beast and she gets Prince Eric, Dimitri (not quite Disney, but oh well), and John Smith. Someone else who came in half way through gets Shang.
But anyway, onto my revised list of fictional crushes.
  • Aladdin: This guy is loving and caring without being smothering and he is so cute when he asks Jasmine out for a magic carpet ride.
  • Artemis Fowl: This is a crush from a while ago. I especially like him in the first book when he's still the villain. And he's smart! Who doesn't like an intellectual?
  • Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird: Again, smart. And super kind and reliable. The marrying kind.
  • Bartamaeus from The Bartamaeus Trilogy: Screw Robin William's genie, Bartamaeus is the world's most hilarious Djinni and for some reason I can't help but fall in love with his cynicism.
  • Batman: He's a freakin' SUPERHERO! He's rich, famous, good looking, and his moodiness is sexy.
  • Briar Moss from The Circle of Magic series: For years I wanted to get a tattoo like his, but then I realised that mine wouldn't be able to move because I don't have plant magic and they would probably not be using plant based natural inks. Either way, Briar Moss is still simply exceptional.
  • Dimitri from Anastasia: I can't believe I lost this guy to her! I'm going to need to win him back some how. Any suggestions people?
  • Dr. Horrible from Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog: He is so sweet! I love the nevous, nerdy types. He's cute, he's loving (although a little stalkerish), he likes to think he's evil, he can sing, what more could you want?
  • Dustfinger from Inkheart: I don't really know what to say about Dustfinger, except that you know he's going to be sexy because he's a fire-eater.
  • Greed/Ling Yao from Full Metal Alchemist: Although the double personality thing may get kind of awkward, I suppose... But I loved them both, even before they were combined in the same body. Greed looks out for his comrades despite his, well, greed, and being a supposedly heartless homoculi. And Ling is just really really cool.
  • Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye: You've probably heard enough about how much I love him.
  • Indiana Jones: He's an archaeologist people! What's not to love?! (history nut, here). And Harrison Ford was totally hot until my teacher's wife pointed out that he looked like my dad. I've gone off Indie a bit since then...
  • John Smith from Pocahontas: One of the most realistic Disney characters I've ever come across. He's clever and awesome and, as Thomas puts it, "the legendary John Smith".
  • Kakashi from Naruto: I like my Naruto guys so I've actually omitted a heap Of the more embarassing ones) from this list. Kakashi has the cool guy thing down, but he's actually pretty deep. He's always arriving late places because he spends hours at the memorial for his friend. And he has the best excuses on the planet: "Sorry I'm late, I got lost on the road of life".
  • Martin the Warrior from the Redwall Series: So what if he's a mouse? His chivalry is super impressive and I concerntrated my Redwall readings on the one's featuring Martin the Warrior.
  • Mello from Death Note: He's probably one of the only characters in this series that doesn't scare the pants off me (besides Matsuda) but he's totally Badass. In fact he's my number one bad boy heart throb. He has the guts to use a gun, not some pissy little note book. And I can't help but sympathise with his "always second" inferiority complex (yes I'm looking at you, Chairman).
  • Nat Eaton from the Witch of Blackbird Pond: I first fell in love with him simply because of his name but he is playful and flirtatious and sweet and that makes him so god damn sexy!
  • Nathanial from The Bartamaeus Trilogy: I hated his guts beyond belief in the second one but when he finds himself again in the third how could I not fall head over heals for him?
  • Pagan from Pagan's Crusade: I don't think I can read a first person narrative with out in a way falling in love with the character. Pagan's thoughts make me laugh so much and never want to leave his side. *Fingers crossed that Pagan becomes real and proposes*.
  • Portgas D. Ace from One Piece: *Spoiler Alert* I bawled my eyes out so much when he died! Absolutely no one in the entire One Piece fan base wanted Ace to die. There were even online memorials for him. But his death was really well done. I mean, I cry pretty easily in fiction but One Piece is exceptionally good at making me cry for days and days. RIP Ace you will be missed (and I love you).
  • Ren Tsuruga from Skip Beat: *Fangirl scream* Perfect guy. Like so perfect I consider this fictional guy too good for me. People just shouldn't think like that. He's that amazing.
  • Roronoa Zoro from One Piece: The only reason I gave up John Smith and Dimitri to my friend was because I had spent the last couple of days swooning over this swordsman pirate. He fights for what he believes in and will sacrifice everything for his friends. His three swords are not compensation, O'Malley, he's just advertising.
  • Shikamaru from Naruto: Another smarty. His dream of an average life with an average job and an average life is really appealing to me and I love his laziness.
  • The Beast from Beauty and the Beast: is now officially mine! I'm sure Belle puts it well when she sings "There's something sweet and almost kind but he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined and now he's dear and so I'm sure I wonder why I didn't see it there before."
  • The Flash: The Fastest Man Alive: I have had a crush on the Flash (Barry Allen, Wally West, Bart Allen, whichever. Although preferably Wally) since I first saw him years and years ago on the Justice League of America. He's funny, clever, caring and Linda Park can go to hell.
  • Yukihito Yashiro from Skip Beat: He is so cute! Everyone thinks I'm insane for this one. Why Ren's manager when you could have Ren? Well, because he's adorable and sweet and his wild theories and attempts to set up Ren and Kyoko are so delightfully devious. He's just so CUTE!

I realise that this may have made some of my male followers feel a little awkward but I hope that they are willing to share some of their fictional crushes in the comments. So everyone, who are you in love with and who are you going to fight me for? (You're not going to win, by the way).

Wednesday, May 5

My Perfect Guy

I was looking over some of the older stuff on my blog and realised that I apparently love writing lists. So here's one more. I go this idea from a friends website who wrote the things he looks for in a girl.
So here's what I look for in a guy:
  1. Is Holden Caulfield. Although anyone on my list to the right would suffice.
  2. Is intellectually badass.
  3. Is irresistibly drop-dead gorgeous, because I am superficial.
  4. Can sing and will serenade me. Because there is nothing creepy about being serenaded except if it's with Every Breath You Take or something by A Day to Remember because that would basically mean I'd just been murdered by my perfect man. Which would suck.
  5. Will sit through Disney movies with me and enjoy them. In fact, will also sing along with me.
  6. The simple girly things: is willing to commit, is not a player, etc.
  7. Has an incredible sense of humour.
  8. Can put up with me and my me-ness
  9. Is passionate about things.
  10. Love to read
  11. Shares my manga obsession.
  12. Has amazing taste in music
  13. Understands me perfectly.
  14. Can get me backstage at a Rise Against concert
  15. Is just all round fun to be with
  16. Is an awesome gamer.
  17. Will act childish with me
  18. Has an epic accent.
  19. Is NOT a psychopath
  20. Loves me!

How do you score? Haha.

Thursday, April 29

Bland About Me

110 post. Well I guess it's about time I told you something about me. So here's some boring, typical facts you write in the "about me" on websites. The questions were basically stolen off of Kevin.

Penguins Quack (and as Laura guessed, my middle name is Totallydo)


Favorite colour:
ULTRAMARINE!! (because if its name) or red and black.

Favorite food:

Favorite book:
Tales From Outer Suburbia by Shaun Tan. Sort of a young adult picture book or a collection of short stories. He's an amazing artist and an amazing writer.

Favorite movie:
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, The Great Escape, Life is Beautiful, Amelie and probably heaps more.

Favorite TV show:
Spicks and Specks. Oh, and of course, Mild Acquaintances. The fictional TV show, starring me and my friends, sorry, acquaintances

Favorite band:
Rise Against! (I think I've made that quite clear before).

Favorite song:
Jesus of Suburbia by Greenday.

Favorite scent:
The dusty smell of rain when it hasn't rained in months and the smell of wet concrete.

Favorite Disney Movie:
All the classics and Renaissance films. Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Mulan and Up.

Favorite quote:
Most Douglas Adams. Particularly "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes". And also "What really knocks me out is a book, when you're all done reading it, you wished the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it" from the Catcher in the Rye.

Favorite season:

Drink or smoke:
Nah. I'm legal for both but I'd prefer the straight edge lifestyle. I love when people apply the peer pressure and my friend comes into defend my by saying "Straight Edge is a hardcore punk lifestyle. It's totally cool that she doesn't drink."

Sing in the shower:
Most definately. I have portably iPod speakers so I can sing along while in the shower.

Most played song on iPod:
Anywhere but Here by Rise Against. (Ooh, Rise Against, there's a suprise).

Team Edward or Team Jacob:
Team Charlie! He's HOT!
That's my about me in a nutshell. NowI have to go wash up the dishes.

Thursday, April 22

My Place

I got a lot of feedback about my Periodic Table T-shirt so I thought I'd show it to you all. And once I'd gotten out the camera I couldn't help but take a few photos.

Here's my T-shirt. It's a great conversation starter. I was bushwalking to Wineglass Bay in Tasmania and had two guys comment on it. One guy had walked past me when he suddenly spun around, pointed accusingly at me, and screamed "Periodic Table" at the top of is lungs. The other guy sort of just nodded and said "cool periodic table".

I want the periodic table shower curtain from the Big Bang theory.

This is my pin board. It's turned into more of a work of art than a notice board.

You might be able to notice my elevator safety guide in the bottom right-hand corner. This was a Christmas present from my brother, O'Malley. I gave him several bags of air. Just in case, you know? There's also my name spelt out using element symbols, two Andy Warhol quote postcards. Several song quotes. Several post-it notes designed by my friends, including one quoting the Raven. There's a playing card from Port Arthur in Tassie, a couple of sketches by me that I love, a batman birthday invitation and more!

These are a couple of the posters on my wall. I also have all the One Piece wanted posters, a WW1 recruitment poster (which I adore), and a Pink Floyd "The Wall" poster.

I chose to show these ones to you because of my original series Pokemon poster which came free with the 2BA Master Pokemon soundtrack CD my brother got when he was four and I recently stole to load onto my iPod. My brothers and I also went lapping to this CD. Blasting out the PokeRAP while "hoon-ing" around town is pretty epic.

Also pictured is my "Save the Planet" propaganda postcards and my Alkaline Trio poster. Those guys rock.

Here's my bookcase! The most important part of ones house. There are at least three other bookcases in my house, all more full than this one.

Notice my gorgeous four books on the second bottom shelf that I won as second prize in a Forgotten Bookmarks give-away? I've got War and Peace, Les Miserables, the Works of Shakespeare and the works of Carlyle. Try not to notice that I own all the Twilight books.

If I had to pick some of my favourites off this shelf I'd have to go with the Kate DiCamello (my mum and I are in love with this children's author), the Inkheart trilogy (the movie was the worst film adaption I have ever seen), Catcher in the Rye (because I'm married to Holden Caulfield. Do not debate this fact), my Markus Zuzak (the Messenger and the Book Thief), and probably my graphic novels. Don't judge me, people. V for Vendetta is an amazing movie and an even more amazing graphic novel.

This is my desk where I write this blog. It's from the old Catholic school. It has 3A printed on the side showing which classroom it used to be in. Funnily enough, my brother has the teachers desk from the old Catholic school.

See my sexy red computer? It's RED! There's also my iPod touch there and a load of other crap. The piece of paper pinned to my wall is the Rules and Advice for NaNoWriMo which I am now using for Script Frenzy. Would you like to take a closer look at what's written on my white board? Of course you would:

This was mum's motto for me while studying for the High School Certificate last year. I haven't rubbed it off yet because I'm planning to attack O'Malley with it when his exams come around.

I admit that I was the one that added the INGSOC slogan. Mum wasn't happy with the whole Ignorance is Strength line, seeming she was forcing me to study to make me less ignorant, so changed it to Undying Obedience.

Finally I'm adding an artwork that I did because I want to ask you your opinion. I still need to get a piece of coloured card for the background and I need to paint the frame but I'm having trouble choosing colours. If anyone tells me the guy has fat arms or looks like Ben 1o I will cyber punch you.

So they're just a little pieces of me. What do you think?

Friday, April 16

7 Things

I was tagged by ЯANdOM ЯAWR to make a list of 7 things that I love most about myself (way to make it difficult. How do you answer this without sounding vain?). Here I go:

  1. I like my goofy smile. I have nice shaped lips but I still think I have a goofy smile. I love that.
  2. I love my creativeness. I love my artworks. Yes, they could be better, but they're still good.
  3. I also love my writing. I admit, a lot of what I write I end up hating (like last years, NaNoWriMo), but then I also write things that I love.
  4. I love my relationship with my family. My brothers and my mum are basically my best friends. I love that I can be that close to them.
  5. I love my nerdiness. I have a periodic table T-shirt, for Gods sake! Spread the nerdiness!
  6. I love that I can make people laugh.
  7. I love all my little random collections. I collect badges and cinema tickets and some other things.

Thank god that's over. Tag time!

O'Malley + Laura + Zella + Scott

Tell me: 7 things that should not exist

Thursday, April 15

If I was Bella Swan

Saw this meme on Deviant Art and just had to do it, even though I don't have an account. I thought I'd share it with you.

A Day in the Life of Penguins Quack

Both my beloved Zella (Grammatically Motivated) and Scott (Ergo) have written "A Day in the Life of..." articles on their blogs and I have been inspired to write one of my own.
May day's are pretty irregular. Because I broke my leg I've had to postpone Uni and I can't work so most days are spent bludging around the house. Except on Wednesdays and Thursdays I go with my mum to the school she teachers at as a volunteer. So here's a typical Wednesday/Thursday in the life of Penguins Quack.
6:45 - my alarm doesn't go off. I forgot to set it again. Instead I'm woken by mum's alarm going off in her room. Screw it. I'm not getting up.
6:50 - I realise mum will kill me if I don't get up but still can't be motivated to get out of my warm, comfy bed. I turn on my CD player. My theory says the Alkaline Trio will help me get up. For some reason Birds of Tokyo starts to play and I doze off again.
7:10 - Mum charges into my room telling me to get up. I tell her I already am, I just finished rubbing bio-oil on my scars. She leaves and I start rubbing bio-oil on my scars before putting on some jeans and my periodic table T-shirt.
7:15 - I stare into the fridge, then the pantry, then the freezer. I complain that there's nothing to eat for breakfast. I don't eat cereal and we're out of raisin toast. And bread. And milk. In the end I settle for mum's crumpets.
7:45 - Mum comes into the kitchen while I'm still eating and asks if I'm ready to leave. I'm not. I spent half an hour chatting to my brother, O'Malley, instead of getting ready. I run to the bathroom and brush my teeth while also brushing my hair and putting shoes on.
7:50: Mum makes me drive the 20 minute drive out to the small Aboriginal school she works at.
8:10 - We finally arrive. 10 minutes late. We go to the library where mum, the teacher-librarian, turn on the computer and sets up the borrowing system while I read picture books.
8:45 - School starts. All 23 students line up for morning notices and nose-blowing. For some reason we have to teach the kids how to blow their noses, and for some reason I have to participate. The kids then do two laps of the oval. Luke once again manages to get away with only doing half a one.
9:00 - Literacy. I take the slow learners out of the class. We do Look Say Cover Write Check with their spelling, I give them a test and then we do readers. The most boring stories ever written that i must read through about 4 times each day.
11:30-ish (I don't really know the school bell times) - Recess! Ramsey's about ready to thrash me with his reader and Maylan is asleep. The bell rings and the three of us enthusiastically run outside. I eat while chatting to the teachers. Someone asks Mr Nayler to peel their orange.
11:45-ish - Numeracy. I play snakes and ladders with the slow learners. The aim is number identification and counting forwards and backwards from a number. I lose the game, having gotten no closer to 100 that 20 the entire game.
1:15-ish - Lunchtime! At last! Escape! I flee from my horror, pledging never to play snakes and ladders again. Someone asks Mr Nayler to open their can of tuna.
1:45-ish - I have a choice. Take the infants for library with mum, or take the primary class for information tech. with Mr M. (the kids can't pronounce Reece's last name. I can't spell it). I take information tech. because Maylan wants me too. They're writing picture books for the infants class. Maylan and I spend all lesson trying to draw an alien on the un-oriented smart board.
2:30 - Mum returns and we do HSIE (human society in its environment). She's teaching "communities" so everyone has to draw a building in their community. At Natalie and Brianna's request I participate. I draw the doctors surgery. Then Brianna makes me draw a dolphin.
3:00 - Finally school ends and we head straight out to mum's friends place. He has a spa/hot-tub which I use for physio. Even when using it for physio, a spa is super-duper awesome.
4:45 - On the way home mum and I buy something for dinner because there's never any food in the house. When I say buy something for dinner, I mean a BBQ chicken.
5:00 - Finally home and I go straight to the computer. Facebook, Blogger, Twitter, Sparklife, Manga. On good Thursday afternoon's all the Shounen Jump manga's could be out. Otherwise I spend all evening refreshing the One Manga home page.
6:30 - We eat the BBQ chicken. Mum asks O'Malley how his day was and he gives an average answer. Mum and I then go and eat our dinner in front of the TV. O'Malley somehow manages to eat while playing TFC online.
7:00 - O'Malley and I wash up while mum goes for a walk. I then check Facebook and One Manga.
7:30 - after reading all my Shounen Jump I skype my twin brother, the Chairman, who is at a college in Canberra and whine about the latest Bleach to him. We then analyse everything that happened in Naruto to the point that an English teach would be shocked. We have nothing but praise for One Piece. I then complain that Skip Beat hasn't come out for three weeks and the Chairman hangs up on me.
8:30 - On Wednesdays I watch Spicks and Specks religiously, followed by Hungry Beast. On Thursdays I procrastinate until How I Met Your Mother at 9:00.
9:30 - I hope into bed and read and listen to music, at some point remembering to apply my bio-oil. I forget to set my alarm.
10:30 - Lights out. Music off.
11:40 - lights back on. Inspiration for something to write.
12:00 - back to sleep.
What do your day's involve?

Tuesday, April 6

Balls of a King

Okay, because Script Frenzy and physio (and maybe a little bit of manga) are all that's on my mind at the moment, and because there's pretty much nothing interesting about physio, I've decided to blog my songs from Xerxmania and have you guys tell me what you think.
So here's the song I mentioned in my previous post, the Balls of a King. This song is sung by Darius on Xerxes wedding day.

It takes balls to be king!
It takes balls to be emperor!
And what proves you have balls
Is how many wives you can tether!

A king with one wife
Goes the way of Macbeth
A sap ground down
And whipped to his death

The ballsy king tames her
Then ropes him a second
It’s a ménage à trois
For the well hung husband

What's better still?
Aim for the forgy
Buckle up three wives
And it gets so much more sexy

(What about four, sire?)
High five to ya, son!

(And another, sire?)
Almost half a dozen!

(And that many, sire?)
A fucking stallion!

Xerxes is on his way!
Now he has another wife at the tether
He has the Balls of a King
The Balls of an Emperor

The balls to tackle Greece!

When they burned Sardis they disturbed my peace
And after Marathon my anger increased
With balls too big for any codpiece
We'll crush them and finally my vengeance will cease


It takes balls to be king!
(Xerxes has balls!)
It takes balls to be emperor!
(Like your balls, sire!)
And what proves you have balls
(Like a fucking stallion!)
Is how many wives you can tether!
Tell me what you think. Tomorrow I might follow it up with I Won't See You. A love song sung by the second wife.

Friday, April 2

Twitter and Xerxmania

Just thought I should tell you all that penguins_quack is now on Twitter.
I got sick of suscribing to peoples tweets using RSS feeds.
But now that I think about it penguins_tweet may have been an appropriate play on words for my user name. Oh well. Penguins_quack it is.
In other news, Script Frenzy started yesterday and I'm already hating Xerxmania. All because Darius sings a perverted song that starts:
"It takes balls to be king
"It takes balls to be emperor
"And what proves you have balls
"is how many wives you can tether."
And it all goes down hill from there.

Monday, March 29

Musical Tag

After writing that title I wish I could say that this post is about an awsome game of tag that's similar to musical chairs (still trying to figure out how this game would work) but actually, I found a tag over with RandomRawr which I decided I had to do, although I think it could of had a better variety of questions. Here it is:

List 10 artists in no particular order (do it before reading the questions below).
1) Rise Against
2) AFI
3) Coheed and Cambria
4) The Killers
5) Alkaline Trio
6) British India
7) The Amity Affliction
8) Birds of Tokyo
9) A Day to Remember
10) Funeral for a Friend

What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
Run the Red Light

What is your favourite song of 8?

What kind of impact has 1 left on your life?
They saved me when I could no longer breathe. They keep me alive.

What is your favourite lyric of 5s?
Sorry I'm late, I was out spoiling my liver.

How many times have you seen 4 live?
Never. Sadness.

What is your favourite song of 7?
Hard. Maybe their cover of Love is a Battlefield. Amazing cover.

Is there any song of 3 that makes you sad?
Not really. Their songs aren't really sad ones. Maybe Neverender, and if you're in the right state of mind maybe Keeping the Blade

What is your favourite song by 9?
Ergh! Hard. You Should Have Killed Me When You Had the Chance or Last Request or… I can't really decide

How did you first get into 2?
My cousin introduced me too them. I was staying at his place for a week and he was struggling to keep me entertained.

How did you first get into 3?
Again, my cousin. He played me one of their songs and them I went out and bought all their albums.

What is your favourite song by 4?
All These Things That I've Done from their first album. Was listening to it yesterday. Pure awesomeness. Or, I suppose, Glamourous Indie Rock and Roll.

How many times have you seen 9 live?
None, I missed them when they were out here last.

What is a good memory concerning 10?
Rocking out to Waterfront Dance Club in a total Risky Business kind of way.

Is there a song by 8 that makes you sad?
Yeah, a lot of it actually. Some of it just has this beautiful, melancholy feel to it.

What is your favourite song of 1's?
Ergh! It's like Sophie's Choice. I love them all. Um… I really love Ready to Fall, Roadside, Everchanging and Anywhere but Here, but I seriously can't decide

How did you become a fan of 10?
A frienemy piling as much music on me as possible. As I shifted through it all Funeral for a Friend just seemed to stand out.

Friday, March 26

Things That Make Me Happy

1. Foggy mornings
2. Dipping my toes in a pool on a hot day
3. Eating lemonade icy-poles
4. Balloons
5. Daydreaming to music
6. Dancing
7. Sitting on the grass on a sunny day
8. Rain on my face
9. Rollercoaster's
10. Writing something that I know will make people laugh, smile or cry
11. Making pancakes with my brothers
12. Writing at 4am
13. The trees through the mist at that spot down near the river
14. Lying on cement on a rainy day
15. Singing songs I carry inside
16. Pulling my blankets up around my ears on chilly nights
17. Standing on a precipice on a windy day
18. Mooing at cows
19. Running without a reason
20. Playing cards while sitting on the floor
21. Doing shots of straight cordial
22. Losing myself in a book
23. Getting stuck in the moment
24. Knowing I'm loved
25. Making someone else's day
26. Looking out windows
27. Make-believe
28. Glow-in-the-dark stars
29. Swings
30. Old doorbells that no longer work
31. Swinging on hills-hoist clotheslines
32. Jumping waves at the beach
33. Jellybeans
34. Hugging my teddy bear close to my chest
35. Wearing dresses
36. Accidently using Japanese suffixes because I read too much manga
37. Answering the phone with ahoy hoy
38. Fancy dress
39. Driving with friends
40. Friday night burger and LAN
41. Completing a picture and feeling like an artist
42. Someone telling me I have talent
43. Looking through photographs
44. Reading old diaries
45. Rain that lasts for days and days
46. Walking without crutches
47. Talking with little kids
48. Rocking out
49. Letting myself go
50. Un-awkward silences

Wednesday, March 24

Harmony Day

Harmony day was last week which is about dealing with culture, race and religious tolerance. So for Harmony day the Aboriginal school I volunteer at went on an excursion to another small school a long with the school for students with disabilities.
Unfortunately, even during Harmony day, people can be racist. I have never thought less of people of different race or considered them differently, and I am fascinated by different cultures so it shocks me when even young children make racist comments. I guess they must have been brought up with different attitudes than I was, but even so, I don't really understand why this thing goes on.
No that the disrest was one-sided. Kajika did get punched for making a comment that he was not willing to repeat.
Despite this, the day was great fun. Our school put on a performance of Aboriginal dances, there was a dance and a sausage sizzle. Highlights of the day for me included:
  • Dressing up with the kids for their performance.
  • Tangoing with Casey, the too-cool-for-school student
  • Freaking Luke out by trying to get him to dance with me.
  • Dancing while on crutches.
  • Telling Jahnali she could only eat the watermelon she had been told not to eat if no one saw her take it (there's no way I can be a teacher. I'm too mischievous when around little kids).
  • Ramsey, one of the kids who is always getting into trouble, saying "yeah I'm black, and I'm proud of it" to a kid after a racist comment.
  • Arguing with Casey over horror movie cliches
  • The look on Uriah's face after my mum (who is a teacher at the school) said that the 11-year-old she was dancing with from the other school was her boyfriend
  • Hannah.

The major downside, besides Kajika (isn't that an awesome name) getting punched, was discovering that orange face paint does not come off easily.

Saturday, March 13

100 and a Disco

Yay! My 100th post!
Time for a little 100th post party. Help yourself to the cupcakes. Sorry about all the confetti, it got a little wild for a moment there.
Anyway, on to what I was actually going to talk about (there's fairy bread, too, by the way. Just over there, behind the party pies. Yep, that's right. All sorted?).
Don't you love dances? Or, as they're still known in our backwards town, discos?

(Me: Didn't discos go extincted after the 70's?
Town elder: What! We're out of the 70's! Quick notify Mr.
Me: Wasn't he like a town founder or something? Either way, he's
Town elder: Oh my! The town can't cope with such dramatic

Well, we have Youth Week coming up in April; a nation wide celebration of the youth of the community (that's me, by the way.) And so, as per town tradition, there's going to be a disco!
Of course, the Youth Council, a committee without any power run by the youth of the community, are running Youth Week and trying to organise some other activities (Movie night, LAN Gaming comp. and laser tag!!), but they're just to radical for the Town Elders that run the local council. The disco on the other hand, is something we know.
Unfortunately, I missed the meeting when the disco theme was decided upon. So I'm afraid it's going to be a rather unfortunate disco. The disco theme:

Twilight and Avartar

So... Um...
Well I have a choice of covering myself in body glitter or painting myself blue. This is a hard decision.
So. I can either look like a smurf or Lady Gaga...
This will take some thought.
Screw it. I'm dressing up as Russel from Up.
My brother's old Scout uniform, a sash and a zillion badges. Easy. Of course, Batman, James Bond, Ghostbusters and Darleks may not exactly be Wilderness Explorer badges, but they'll do. As will badges saying Sarcasm Society: like we need your support, my imaginary friend could beat up your imaginary friend and this is not a badge.
So I guess that's the disco taken care of. Sort of... The rest of Youth Week seems like it's going to be gnarly, so bring on April!
And that's all folks. Feel free to take a slice of cake for the road. Don't forget your little goodybag.
P.s. While writing this a had to go answer the phone and on my way back I forgot one of my crutches. No an easy thing to do. Just thought I'd tell you that.

Tuesday, March 9


I was tagged by Scott over at Ergo (or Epic Ergo as I like to call it) and I'm supposed to predict where I'm going to be in 10 years time and tag 10 people. So here we go:
  • In 2020 Australia will finally be achieving everything its aiming for (yeah right) like the 2020 Summit stuff and whatever Defence 2020 is on about. So I'm assuming we will be living in some kind of magical world.
  • In this world I will have become the Cultural Vigilante, a misterious masked individual who is returning all artifacts back to their rightful countries (lets see the marbles back in Greece and the mummies back in Egypt!).
  • This will have gotten me arrested and unmasked. My trial would be very controvertial as the British would probably hate me but the Italians, Greeks and Egyptian would worship me. But luckily the magistrate judging my case has an Italian grandmother who had seen a family heirloom (looted in WWII) returned thanks to me. I get released but banned from museums around the world.
  • This spirals me into depression and I begin teaching Australia history to highschool students.
  • This makes my depression worse and I get hooked on wizzfizz (now known to be a deadly drug).
  • My family refer me to a clinic and I eventually get clean. Emerging from this I see myself on an E special showing a superheros downward spiral to drugs and addiction.
  • I relapse.
  • One day the magistrates grandmother visits me while I'm in the clinic. She thanks me and her gratitude is enough to get me back on the right track.
  • Eventually the grandmother sets me up with the magistrate and we get married. This causes a lot of controversy but my case doesn't go back to trial.
  • E does another story on me.
  • I go back to work at the highschool but instead teach senior history and get to stay away from that horrible Australian stuff.
  • After a very eventful year, life is pretty good.
I don't know 10 people, but I tag:
The Public Donut @ MyBlog

Monday, March 8


Okay, so I just had a friend begin writing a blog and in his About Me information he has listed some of his various aliases. So after reading this I thought I'd share some of my various aliases with you guys.
Gaming Names:
I do a bit of LAN gaming with my brothers and their friends and every gamer knows that you need an epic gaming name. I have a few (they change with each game):
  • Spawn Camper
  • Sasuke's Lovechild
  • The Abyssal One
  • Harley Quinn
Superhero Names:
I admit, I'm a little superhero obsessed so I have a couple of superhero aliases:
  • Grammar Girl
  • Laurizzle
  • The Cultural Vigilante
I didn't realise I had any nicknames until I began thinking about it here:
  • Lozzle
  • Losenger
  • The Crazy Scary Lady
  • Scarecrow
My brothers and I all have alter-egos we introduce ourselves as when we don't think we're ever going to see those people again.
  • Hi, I'm Risa Hawkeye.
I also occasionally introduce myself as Harley Quinn.
Internet Names:
  • Penguins_Quack
I've been Penguins_Quack for so long I can no longer remember what my LastFM username was.
So what are you also known as?

Wednesday, March 3


So it's March and, because I have nothing else to do, that means planning my Script Frenzy for April. Do you remember me telling you about National Novel Writers Month back in November? Yeah, well similar thing, but you write a script.
30 days. 100 pages. April. Are you in?
Well, I'll be writing the script to Xerxmania: Xerxes the Musical, it's the play my Ancient history class planned while procrastinating instead of studying.

Xerxmania is the untold story of Xerxes second wife who petitions for divorce because she's not his favourite wife. The play was based of the idea that only the king's mother and favourite wife could sit at his table.
Anyways, here's me encouraging you to get involved in Script Frenzy this year. Now I'm going to run (well the crutch-using equivalent) off and procrastinate elsewhere.

Wednesday, February 24


I recieved some awards from my good pal, Laura, over at Zoidberg Tales. Check it out, she posts some fantastic pictures and great TV commentary which is awesome even if you don't watch the shows (I don't really watch any of them (Doctor Who is on at the same time as TAYG!) but I still love reading what she writes).
To tell you the truth, I'm a little confused about one of these awards that I recieved. This one here;

While the humane award is an awesome award to recieve, Laura, are you sure I deserve it?
According to my Encarta dictionary, Humane is basically:

a. Compassionate

b. Involving minimal pain

c. with an emphasis on respect for other peoples views

Well, if it's b. I'm glad you guys don't suffer too much when you read my blog. Otherwise, I'm cool to learn I'm compassionate. C's a little iffy because I mainly respect other peoples views by not speaking my own (and I was about to complain about the terrible state the NSW government is in, too).
So basically I don't understand this award at all and in my opinion I think it should be awarded to Nobel peace prize winners. So I'll be glad to accept (it's always been my dream to win a peace prize).
My other award makes me feel all warm and fuzzy;

This award makes more sense.

I also recieved these same awards from Zellakate. Check out her amazing book reviews on her blog. After reading what she writes you really have to restrain yourself from going out and buying all the books she suggests. If I had enough money I'd buy them all.

Zella also awarded me this award:

So I'm feeling massively special today. :)

To accept the Humane and Sunshine awards I need to pass them on to my favourite bloggers. To accept the Over the Top award I need to answer the flollowing questions with one word answers and then pass it on to five bloggers who are also over the top.

Well, I'll answer the questions first:

Your cell phone: Old
Your hair: mutant
Your mother: Life-line
Your father: somewhere
Your favorite food: mouthwatering
Your dream last night: ...
Your favorite drink: non-alcoholic
Your dream goal: imperfection
What room are you in: study
Your hobby: leap-frog
Your fear: Wrists
Where do you see yourself in six years: Crypt
Where were you last night: couch
Something you aren't: interested
Muffins: choc-chip?!
Wish list item: tophat
Where did you grow up: unknown
Last thing you did: internet
What are you wearing: leg-brace
Your TV: elsewhere
Your pets:
Your friends: hiding
Your life: screwed
Your mood: latent
Missing someone: Nii-san!
Vehicle: Totalled
Something you aren't wearing: waistcoat :(
Your favorite store: Boarders
Your favorite color: Ultramarine!
When was the last time you laughed: NEVER!
Last time you cried: Hospital
Your best friend: misplaced
One place you go to over and over: bed
Facebook: mandatory
Favorite place to eat: kitchen

And after all that I must admit that I don't think I follow five blogs...

Or at least I don't follow five that haven't already recieved these awards.

I'm going to give the Over the Top award to Laura at Zoidberg Tales and Lucy at Amusing Seth (I've only just started reading her, but very much enjoying), and also to O'Malley at The Battle of Yonkers if, and only IF, he starts blogging again (his zombie survival plans keep you prepared and his other posts are hilarious).

O'Malley will also be getting the other two awards, because I like him.

I would like to give these awards to Scott over at Ergo, but I believe he has already recieved them. But check out his blog anyway. I love it.

And that's finally it from me, thank you girls for the awards and congratulations to my award winners! Cheers!

Saturday, February 20

See the Moons of Jupiter with Crazy Scary Lady Tours!!

For as little as 15003 Lima beans you can spend a magical three weeks in an intergalactic world!
This once in a lifetime tour will start at tourist-hating, Communist Cuba where you will enjoy the thrill of a lifetime as you join our staff and crew as we illegally sneek into the Cuban spaceport.
After a quick takeoff and a race with the Cuban authorities you'll be on your way to your final destination - Jupiter!
Following a nights stop over at the astroid belt and a suprise trip to an all you can eat shrimp house on Saturn we arrive at Europa and begin our 18 day tour of Jupiter's wonderous moons.
On this tour you can expect the unmatched experiences of the force labour camps on Io, morning tea on Ganymede with genetically engineered stingy bastards, the heart-stopping excitement of strangleweed wrestling on Callisto, exercise your legs running for your life on Leda while escaping from the Shilik Monko Men, and much, much more!!
Call 06 999 872 11 for more information or to make a booking or email us at
We hope to see you soon!

Safe return is not guarenteed

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