Friday, January 29

How to Conquer Boredom While in Hospital

I was recently hit by a truck and only just got out of hospital. Okay, I didn't quite get hit by a truck, but pretty much. I was cycling on the wrong side of the road and crashed into an oncoming truck, Totalled my bike and my knee so I had to spend 12 days in hospital and have two operations on my knee. While I was in hospital I wrote this article "How to conquer boredom while in Hospital" which I thought I might send in to Sparklife but am too lazy to edit. So instead I'm giving you the unedited version:
  1. Avoid the truck and don't get into hospital in the first place. Best way to dodge hospital boredom? Don't end up in hospital. So listen to me here, children, and obey road rules. They are there for your safety. My mum is furious that I didn't obey to road rules and was seriously begging the police officer to fine me.
  2. Use your call button to play songs for the nurses. I don't know about you but my call button made a perfect musical instrument. Start with something simple like Hot Cross Buns and once you've got the hang of it move on to something more difficult, like Zero to Hero from Disney's Hercules. Maybe get the person in the bed beside you to join in, you could have a full orchestra of beeps.
  3. Visitors (AKA Whining). We all love visitors, right? And if they don't come willingly spend your whole time on the phone milking them for sympathy (by the way, although I'm home I'm still house-bound so I will be milking you for sympathy in the comments). Feel free to play the "I got hit by a truck" line. I'm also playing on the fact that I missed the concert of my favourite band that I have been waiting for for months. Rise Against, I vow I will make it to your next concert.
  4. Memorise the lyrics to every song on your iPod. I'm currently working on Whole New World from Aladdin. If you do this you'll be able to beep out a whole range of songs and sing along to them. I would be awesome.
  5. Time how long it takes for a nurse to respond to your call button. The longest I have recorded was well over an hour. The shortest, less than a second. You can guess which nurse I liked better.
  6. When ever doing some type of exerting activity sing inspirational songs. Up on crutches for the first time? I was singing Mulan's I'll Make a Man Out of You. Actually, I think I was singing that song most of the time... All of the time... I like that song, okay?
  7. Watch Disney movies and listen to their soundtracks. You might not know it about me, but I love my Disney movies and their songs. So if you can get your hands on a way to play them, watch Disney movies. my brothers bought Up for me and it was fantastic. I cried. Also, [spoiler alert] Ellie looks like my Aunt. I also played Disney soundtracks constantly on my iPod. Well, that and the Doctor Horrible soundtrack. But I don't need to tell you to play that. You should already be doing it. Right at this moment. While you read this. And... Ahem. Yes, well, Disney.

So that's how I beat hospital boredom. I hope you're lucky enough never to have to try them out. No getting hit by trucks!


Just a quick farewell to J.D. Salinger who died today.
As the creater of my greatest crush I want to say thankyou and good by to him.
RIP, Salinger.

"I'm a kind of paranoic in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy." - J.D. Salinger.

Thursday, January 14

I Think it's About Time for a Disney Marathon

I'm currently downloading Disney songs and I was wondering what your favourite Disney songs are? (You cannot read this without posting an answer in the comments. My pet dragon will not let you. He's called Theodore.)
At the moment I'm loving I'll Make a Man Out of You from Mulan. I am seriously dancing and singing to that everywhere I go. "We must be a swift as the coursing river. With the force of a great typhoon. With the strength of the raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon." Who can hear that without pretending to do Kung Fu?
I've obviously already raided the Lion King for Hakuna Matata (the greatest no worries song this side of Three Little Birds), Can You Feel the Love Tonight (my favourite band piece to play on the flute, and a killer love song) and Be Prepared (the most hardcore song from my youth that is actually kind of Nazi now that I think of it...).
Anyways, I couldn't look past A Whole New World from Aladdin (he sounds like such a nervous teenager when he asks her if she wants to go for a magic carpet ride.) And then, when I got that, I had to get Arabian Nights as well, even though the original version was a little racist (well that can be expected of Disney, we did just have a Nazi reference. And these movies have the most horrific death scenes in the world. Hello, the Snow White's step-mother).
Lets see, what else have I gotten...
Of course, I had to get Belle from Beauty and the Beast because I have a strange feeling that song may be about me... (Although my name doesn't mean beauty... It's a flightless bird... Penguins are beautiful, right? Ah, forget it...) And it's one of my favourite fairy tales. It's pretty much the same as Eros and Psyche, my favourite myth. Anyway, today I plan to walk through the streets of my backwards town singing "There must be more than this provincial life."
I've got Colours of the Wind from Pocahontas. I had to do this after my friend accidentally downloaded the instrumental version so now I can rub it in her face and eventually give her the proper version. I think there is another song in this movie that I want but it's been a while since I last saw it so I can't really remember. Actually, it's been a while since I saw any Disney movies. Time for a Disney marathon.
Anastasia is of course a wonderful, yet another historically inaccurate, Disney movie, and since Once Upon a December had been the lullaby I have sung to myself when I can't sleep since I was a kid, it was an obvious choice for download.
And Somehow I also ended up downloading Once Upon a Dream from Sleeping Beauty. While definitely not my favourite Disney princess movie (well it's up against Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin), this song is surprisingly unforgettable.
Oh! And how did I forget Tarzan's You'll be in My Heart? I downloaded this song some time back to help me play it on the flute because truthfully I suck with anything musical. (Except remembering lyrics. But that's not useful when your singing sounds like a piglet that has been hit by a semi-trailer.).
Anyway, I think that is my list of currently owned Disney movies. Now I command you to tell me your favourite Disney songs (and movies) so I might be able to download those.
Thanks a bunch. Penguins xxx