And that is why this life is wasted on them all. I still fail to breathe in this life. Sometimes I think I'm happy just to drift like this. Floating on the wind like a cloud... But sometimes I want more. I don't know what I just want it. Maybe just something to stifle this boredom. Sometimes to float is enough... sometimes its necessary to breathe deeply. I haven't managed to do both successfully yet, though.
If Peter Pan flew up to my window tonight I'd probably fly off with him without any second thoughts. I'd miss my friends and family but, if I remember the story right (which I sort of doubt), I could still visit. I wouldn't stay away forever, just until I'm ready to grow up.
Think about it, I'd be the first Lost Girl.
Ah, but there my imagination is running away on me again. I need to stop living in this fantasy world. Stop dreaming of running away to Neverland, falling under enchantments, and loving Holden Caulfield.
I like to think I'm slowly going insane. I am trying to study, I promise you, but it is as if there are two people inside my head and when one isn't looking the other starts to play solitaire or starts typing something like this. I keep telling myself to stop but I will not listen. I admit I am wont to distractions but this is just rediculous.
In February 1917 (by the Julian calander) a revolution took place in Russia in which the Tsarist government was over thrown and replaced by the Provisional government-
I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-
I had a stairwell party today. It was my friend's birthday and I've always wanted to host an elevator party, but, lacking an elevator, I had to settle for the stairwell. So we set up a table and chairs (stolen from maths detention) in the stairwell, ate jelly and fairy bread, drank a lot of coke and laughed excessively. We had maths teachers and a music-teaching conspiracy-theorist (who was aforementioned in my JFK spiel) try to steal our food, a substitute who thought it was the most exciting think she ever saw, and a music teacher who saw us as 'a problem'. The music teacher was easily bribed with my 'healthy' fairy bread and a handful of Allen's lollies. We had sugar hits that must boarder overdose and sang Bob Marley. I wore a tie. I had fun. So... "Don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing gonna be alright..."
I could spend all night staring at the stars. I love the stars. They are my silent confessors. When I am alone with the stars I am free to cry and they will be exactly what I need. Exactly what I need to feel better. They listen and stay quiet. They'll just be. They will shine. They will be beautiful.
When stars appear ugly to me, that is when I will be doomed...
I'm sure someone out there is wondering about the introduction of my poll and wants to now why I'm so curious about who killed J. F. K. so let me explain.
The year 11 modern history syllabus calls case study and every year my school does the Assassination of John F. Kennedy. I did this last year and thoroughly convinced myself that Jackie did it. But then someone asked my why you would pay someone to shoot the person sitting next to you while in a moving vehicle and my whole case crumbled. Instead I focused my case on the Secret Service and I think I built a very convincing argument and, although occasionally an argument breaks out between my friend as to whether it was the CIA or the Mafia, J.F.K. was forgotten about.
This years yr 11 modern history class has recently begun their Kennedy case study and old theories have re-emerged. My two person extension history class will be studying Kennedy this year and both of us having our differing theories a heated argument broke out one day in the library as yr 11 modern history listened to John F. Kennedy's inauguration speech. Our fight was broken up by a music teacher who KNOWS it was the Illuminati and we could not convince him any other way.
So now I want to know your thoughts. Who killed J.F.K?
Will you help me prove statistically that yes, it was the Secret Service? Are you with my friend and believe the Mafia are behind it? Do you believe the jazz musician-music teacher and blame the Illuminati? Do you begrudge conspiracy theorists and think Lee Harvey Oswald was a lone assassin? Or perhaps you have your own theory?