Friday, January 29

How to Conquer Boredom While in Hospital

I was recently hit by a truck and only just got out of hospital. Okay, I didn't quite get hit by a truck, but pretty much. I was cycling on the wrong side of the road and crashed into an oncoming truck, Totalled my bike and my knee so I had to spend 12 days in hospital and have two operations on my knee. While I was in hospital I wrote this article "How to conquer boredom while in Hospital" which I thought I might send in to Sparklife but am too lazy to edit. So instead I'm giving you the unedited version:
  1. Avoid the truck and don't get into hospital in the first place. Best way to dodge hospital boredom? Don't end up in hospital. So listen to me here, children, and obey road rules. They are there for your safety. My mum is furious that I didn't obey to road rules and was seriously begging the police officer to fine me.
  2. Use your call button to play songs for the nurses. I don't know about you but my call button made a perfect musical instrument. Start with something simple like Hot Cross Buns and once you've got the hang of it move on to something more difficult, like Zero to Hero from Disney's Hercules. Maybe get the person in the bed beside you to join in, you could have a full orchestra of beeps.
  3. Visitors (AKA Whining). We all love visitors, right? And if they don't come willingly spend your whole time on the phone milking them for sympathy (by the way, although I'm home I'm still house-bound so I will be milking you for sympathy in the comments). Feel free to play the "I got hit by a truck" line. I'm also playing on the fact that I missed the concert of my favourite band that I have been waiting for for months. Rise Against, I vow I will make it to your next concert.
  4. Memorise the lyrics to every song on your iPod. I'm currently working on Whole New World from Aladdin. If you do this you'll be able to beep out a whole range of songs and sing along to them. I would be awesome.
  5. Time how long it takes for a nurse to respond to your call button. The longest I have recorded was well over an hour. The shortest, less than a second. You can guess which nurse I liked better.
  6. When ever doing some type of exerting activity sing inspirational songs. Up on crutches for the first time? I was singing Mulan's I'll Make a Man Out of You. Actually, I think I was singing that song most of the time... All of the time... I like that song, okay?
  7. Watch Disney movies and listen to their soundtracks. You might not know it about me, but I love my Disney movies and their songs. So if you can get your hands on a way to play them, watch Disney movies. my brothers bought Up for me and it was fantastic. I cried. Also, [spoiler alert] Ellie looks like my Aunt. I also played Disney soundtracks constantly on my iPod. Well, that and the Doctor Horrible soundtrack. But I don't need to tell you to play that. You should already be doing it. Right at this moment. While you read this. And... Ahem. Yes, well, Disney.

So that's how I beat hospital boredom. I hope you're lucky enough never to have to try them out. No getting hit by trucks!

Scribed by at the ripe ol' time of
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7 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2010 at 4:02 PM

    Yay you're back! We missed you.
    Oh, here, because you want it and deserve it--
    *Sympathy sympathy sympathy SYMPATHY symp symp sympathy sympathy symp*

    Up is totally awesome. Pixar outdoes themselves every time. I'm worried, though, that they might not do justice to the third Toy Story. Those movies were my absolute FAVORITES growing up, and I watched all the spin-off movies. But I'm...somewhat confident in them.

    You should totally edit this. It's an awesome article. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. lucyJanuary 29, 2010 at 4:44 PM

    You got hit by a truck?! I hope you're alright now :)

    I love Disney too. They're awesome, except sadly I missed out when I was a kid because my parents never gave me Disney DVDs to watch, so I'm trying to catch up now.

    Up was so good. I watched it at the cinemas on a day-out with my self, and I cried. It was so heartwrenching yet also so heartwarming :) I want to watch The Princess and the Frog now.

    You should totally send this article to Sparknotes. Bet they'd love it :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Penguins QuackJanuary 29, 2010 at 6:09 PM

    Thanks for the sympathy guys. And I'm glad you liked it.
    I want to see Princess and the Frog too, but I'm suspicious. I'm also suspicious of the 3rd Toy Story but I trust Pixar more than I trust disney.

    ReplyDelete
  4. zellakateJanuary 30, 2010 at 7:43 AM

    Oh my God! I was wondering where you were and just assumed you were busy. I am glad you're okay. :)

    This is a great article. Send it, send it!

    ReplyDelete
  5. LauraJanuary 30, 2010 at 9:34 AM

    Aw, you got hit by a truck? I hope you'll be better soon. :D.

    If I were stuck in hospital, I'd get the button for the bed thingy and be like, "Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up" etc, etc.
    'Cause that's what Homer did on the Simpsons. Win.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Penguins QuackJanuary 30, 2010 at 10:08 AM

    Thanks Zella and Laura.
    And Laura, I didn't have one of those buttons. Each time I wanted to go up or down I had to call a nurse and they had to physically wind my bed up and down. They whined about it every time.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The ChairmanJanuary 30, 2010 at 1:04 PM

    Yes, you should be thanking us for Up. It was totally my idea, and not O'Malley's. At least, that's what I'm going to tell you.

    ReplyDelete

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