Story Saturday: Choose-Your-Way-Adventure Part Four

Sorry everyone for such a long wait on this one. After my computer died it took a bit of effort getting back into this and also with work and assignments it's been a long break. I'll try and start doing this a bit more regularly again, but no promises. Sorry.

On to the story!

Till Hammerette’s heels kicked up dust as she walked through the dirt streets of Pirate Cove Town. The Cove had seemed like a good place to start, but now she was here she had no idea where to look. She didn’t know the Chairman well enough to slip into his mind and consider “if I were the Chairman where would I be?” so after hours of inconsequential searching she wandered around the streets of the pirate town heading, in a round-about way, towards the docks. Eventually Till admitted that this might not be something she could do on her own.

Forlorn and weary, Till stumbled into a tavern, The Typical Tavern, and ordered a drink. There had been a pirate tavern Till had frequented back in her old bootlegging days at the Pirate Bay on the mainland which had been characterised by loud, filthy pirates, fighting, spilling drinks and playing rounds of Insult Pong. The tavern Till now found herself in was nothing like µTavern and the name, Typical Tavern seemed rather unfitting. The patrons of the Typical Tavern wore clean, neatly pressed collared shirts. No one shouted and no one pushed. The tables were clean and the floors freshly mopped. Not a drop of alcohol had been spilt anywhere within the property. What appalled Till the most was the abundance of pleases and thank you’s and the serious lack of anything that resembled Insult Pong. In a quiet form of rebellion Till dipped her index finger into her pint of rum and used to the liquid to trace “R+” onto the bar.

MEANWHILE in Maddog’s Lair:

“Madpup! Will you be my friend?” Penguins begged, reaching out her hand to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped his teeth at her extended hand.

“Madpup! Will you please be my friend?” Penguins begged, reaching out to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped at her hand.

“Madpup, be my friend?” Penguins reached out to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped at her.

“Madpup, please be my friend?” Penguins begged.

“No.” Maddog snapped.

“Madpup, be my friend?”

“No.”

“Madpup –”

“No.”

MEANWHILE in the basement of the Chairman’s abandoned lair:

“You’re right.” O’Malley nodded. “I should give him a piece of my mind.”

“Good for you!” Laura clapped, “I was just trying to find him. Maybe we can go together?”

O’Malley considered this. He would certainly feel braver about confronting the Chairman if he had his new friend with him. “Zat vould be very nice.” He replied, smiling and showing off his pointed canines.

“Awesome!” Laura cheered, “Lead the way!”

“Right… Uh… It’s this way.” O’Malley led on.

MEANWHILE: back in Pirate Cove:

Till flicked her fingers, signalling to the barkeeper to poor another glass. Early on through the first she had reasoned to question those in the bar about the Chairman’s whereabouts but by the time she had finished the glass and questioned three patrons she came to the conclusion that it was not a task to be done sober. Now on her fifth glass Till approached a young, bishonen pirate lounging in a booth, drinking sake and making eyes at two ladies across the room.

“You. I need information. Now.” She greeted the pirate.

He looked up and her and beamed, showing off his teeth. “Well, how you doing?” He nodded at her. “The name’s Tom, who might I have the pleasure of speaking to?”

“Tell me all you know about the Chairman.” Till answered.

“I will if you tell me your name, beautiful.” Tom flashed a winning smile.

“Don’t call me beautiful.” Till growled. “My name’s Till Hammerette. Tell me about the Chairman.”

“Sure, sure.” Tom waved for her to sit down beside him but instead Till just crossed her arms across her chest and glared. Tom sighed. “He’s got this really gorgeous chick who works for him. Kind of nerdy. All glasses, books and sarcasm. Real top-notch girl. Zella’s her name, I think, Zella-Kate.”

“You know Zella?” Till asked coarsely. “Where is she?”

“I’ll take you to her,” Tom beamed, “In exchange for a kiss.”

Does Penguins:

a) Give in

b) Keep trying to be Madpup’s friend

Does Maddog

a) Give in

b) Keep refusing Penguins

Do O’Malley and Laura

a) Go back up the ladder

b) Go down the tunnel

Does Till

a) Give Tom a kiss

b) Break out the MC Hammer

This chapter introduced Tom from Crusade Against Boredom.

See the previous parts here, here and here.

Why My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is Awesome

Some of you may have noticed a strange new obsession sweeping the internet: My Little Pony (MLP). This is a craze that I am a part of. My friend, Tom Parker asked me to write a blog post explain what's so awesome about it. I had to fight with my brony (the name for guys who like MLP) friend, Jack, for this job, but I got it, so here's my post.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a 2010 series by Lauren Faust. The concept of the show was to create a girls cartoon that is just as entertaining as any boys cartoon, in a similar way to the Powerpuff Girls. The original 1980's My Little Pony had been conceived as a thirty minute add campaign more interesting in selling the MLP toys than telling a story. As a child, Lauren Faust had been uninterested in the show but had enjoyed playing with the toys. She would send her ponies on epic quests to save the world and this idea has been adapted into the 2010 series. The show has also been developed with the parents in mind. Adults are going to need to watch the show with their children so it had better be entertaining for the whole family. The new show has amazing writers, great voice actors and… SONGS!

My Little Pony has all the things a great cartoon should have when appealing to a wide audience. Unlike the original series' Friendship is Magic is brimming with personality. The characters are based on very strong archetypes, giving each pony a very individual personalities. The scripts are amazingly well done and appeal to just about anyone. I've found myself laughing so hard I miss half of the episode and have to watch it all over again. The adventures are dangerous and exciting but still keep the girly elements that make girls cartoons great. Humour in the show blends physical comedy with witty dialogue, and even throws in a variety of obscure references that only the adults will pick up on. In episode three, for example, a crowd of ponies chases one of the main characters while a modified version of Yakety Sax from Benny Hill plays.

The show includes some famous, and brilliant, voice actors, Tara Strong (best known for her roles as Timmy Turner in Fairly Odd Parents, Bubbles in Powerpuff Girls, Ben Tennyson in Ben 10, Dil Pickles in Rugrats and she's in one of my favourite animate films, in Princess Mononoke) as Twilight Sparkle and Tabitha St. Germain (from just about every Barbie movie ever, and many other shows and films) as Rarity. Tara is amazing when doing Twilight's sarcastic and condescending side, while Tabitha captures Rarity's wild mood swings and over-the-top theatrics perfectly. While Tara and Tabitha are the most well know members of the cast the other voice-actors are just as amazing. Check out Fluttershy in these scenes.

Normally songs and musical numbers in cartoons turn out pretty torturous, but that's because most shows don't put much effort into them, and just use them as filler. However, in MLP, professional composers are often hired for the musical numbers, and most of the main ponies have a separate performer just for their singing roles, and the effect is easily on par with Disney. One composer was so proud of his work he put it on Youtube to show his friends and colleagues, but accidentally used the wrong privacy settings, leaking the video to the entire internet several weeks before the episode was supposed to air. That video was Winter Wrap-Up, from the episode of the same name.

All these elements combined have created an amazing show with mass followings online. Now, go watch the first episode and judge for yourself.

Answers for Mr. Tom Parker

My friend, Tom, over at Crusade Against Boredom recently wrote a blog post where he asked all the questions he would ask complete strangers if he got the chance and he asked us all to tell him our answers in a reply blog post. So here are my answers:

What kinda music do you like? Why? Did you ever like any other sort? What do you think of the indie scene? What about the mainstream stuff? Is there any music you hate? What do you think of people who get off knowing about obscure bands?

• I love punk rock and punk pop, and just punk and rock in general. I also like some metalcore and post hardcore. I used to like just about anything except rap and hip-hop, but then my cousin introduced me the Rise Against, AFI and the Alkaline Trio and I was enlightened. I first started listening to metalcore and post hardcore after my friend gave me an A Day to Remember CD and I asked him for more of his music. ADtR was a good transition from punk to hardcore, I feel. Now I love Parkway Drive and especially the Amity Affliction. I prefer indie stuff to mainstream stuff, not because I have a thing against mainstream music, some of its good, just that not much of it is to my taste. I don't search out music, I find my music by being introduced to it by others, so anyone who's into obscure bands has some respect from me, particularly if they're really good, obscure bands.

Do you watch TV? What about reading? Or do you play video games? Is the modern version of reading a novel playing video games? Or is the modern version of reading a novel reading a modern novel? Do you think people do it for the escapist element? Do you? Are you comfortable with that?

• I don't have a TV at my college, so I don't watch much TV. I do borrow TV series' from the library and then have massive marathons of the entire show. Recently did Bones and am now doing Gilmore Girls. While I am sometimes disappointed to realise I'm missing Spicks and Specks, I really don't miss TV.
• I love reading, although I'm very slow at it. It took me an entire year to read 1984 and it's one of my favourite books. Currently I have a Percy Jackson obsession and am sad that I finished the series and won't get to adventure with him again.
• I play computer games, but while I enjoy them, I'm not a fanatic. I just got Sims 3, so I'm pretty obsessed. I spent three hours designing my dream house yesterday. I still haven't furnished it. Portal is probably the greatest game ever, I'm sad not to have Portal 2 yet. Scribblenauts is a close second. I also love Counterstrike and Team Fortress. I wouldn't say games are the new novel, I feel movies are more likely to have taken that role.
• I'm definitely in it all for the escapist element, music too. Just about everything I do. I don't understand while reality is anymore worth living than a dream world. Sure, if it was as simple as travelling or succeeding, than you should live in reality, but if its magic and dragons and castles and BFG's and fairy princes, then the dream world is worth living.

Do you know your family history? Are you proud of it? Do you care at all?

• I wish I knew more of my family history. I'm heading into a career focus around history, after all. I know a lot of family stories, like my grandma's early like in Holland before WW2, but I know very little genealogy. On my mum's side everyone was illegitimate, so its hard to trace back.

Do you have a life story? Or do you think events are just happening and they aren’t connected?

• So far my life is just a bunch of crazy random events, some that are happy, some that are funny, more that are painful. Even if it doesn't fit together, it'd still be a hell of a story to tell one day.

Do you believe in a god or the supernatural? Do you believe what you’d like to be true or what you think is true? If you do, why doesn’t everyone know?

• I was brought up Catholic, by when I was eleven my mum told my brothers and I we could decide for ourselves. I'm generally agnostic. I like the idea of God, but I'm against organised religion. I believe more strongly in the BFG than in the bible. For a long time now fantasy and children's stories has been what I put my faith in.

Where’s the best place to have a date? Is a movie really a good place take a girl? Is it slutty for the girl to be the pursuer in the relationship. That is, the girl is the one who gets the guys phone number, asks him out etc..

• I think all of this depends on the girl and the guy. Movie and dinner is a good standard date, if you don't know the person that well. A good first date. It also says DATE pretty loud and clear if there was the chances of one party being unclear of the whole thing. If the two already know each other well, then the date should be crafted to suit them best. Also with a girl pursuing a guy, it depends on who the girl is and who the guy is, what they're like. I would never go as far as saying its slutty. It's chauvinistic to think that only guys can go the asking out.

A guy and a girl are on a date. The night went rather well but after they leave *wherever they were* and walk down a dark alley *for some reason* they get held up by a guy demanding their money. What should the guy in the date do? Hand over his money or fight the other guy? What is the mugger had a knife? Or a gun?

• Don't try and impress the girl, try and keep her safe. The safest option would be to hand over you things, take note of everything about the guy, when he's gone call the cops, make sure the girl gets home safely and comfort her if she's upset. If you want to be a hero, try and talk the guy into only taking your stuff, and not the girls. If she has a ring that belonged to her grandmother or something tell the guy you'd happily give him all your stuff if he doesn't take her ring. That's heroic. But still, I say safety first. Protect the girl, do what the guy says, call the cops.

When someone asks you how you are, what do you think of? What, to you, defines whether your life is going well or not? Having a boyfriend, good grades, good food, …?

• Normally when I get asked how I am, I reply with the courteous "Well, thank you. How are you?" Sometimes I'll just be over being courteous and answer how I feel. That's how someone ended up with the reply "I'm somewhere between happy and a total fucking wreck". Once, when I was in hospital and doped up on morphine I replied to "how are you feeling?" with "fucked up and numb".
• How would I define if my life is going well? My life is going well when I'm not depressed and when I'm not stressed. When I look less like a corpse and more like a normal person. A moment in which I can't stop giggling and I dance as I walk and I balance along retaining walls and sing without caring. That's when my life is going well. Strangely, when my life isn't going well, it can be kind of similar. I can't stop crying, I kick things and stomp as I walk and I scream out songs without caring.

How do you define yourself? Is it your taste in music? Is it who your friends are, what you own, what your job is, what you study, …? Is it possible to not like who you are? Do you like who you are? If you don’t, would you do anything to change it?

• Gosh, I don't know how I define myself. I hardly know who I am. I am what I am. I'm a ranter, a dreamer, a nutter, a pretender, a forgetter-of-punchlines, a hoper, a wisher, a rambler, a magic-bean-buyer, a historian, a reader, a crazy-dancer, a bad-singer, a penguin. I'm the girl who gives you my umbrella when it's raining. I don't know what I am. But these are a part of it.

So, what are your answers?

Happy Easter

Featuring all of you who haven't been drawn yet!

Story Saturday: Choose-Your-Way-Adventure Part Three

This one is rather rushed, sorry. I was at work all day and all I want to do is curl up in bed and read Percy Jackson. If I can be bothered I may do do illistrations tomorrow, but it is another full day of work and I have a lot of assignments to do. Anyways; enjoy!

Penguins glanced between the two hallways indecisively. It was as if a large group of people were telling her which way to go and they all had their own opinions. To the right was a creepy corridor full of boxes that may contain treasure while to the left was something that growled. Maybe a bunny! Penguins thought hopefully.

“Come on magic bubbles” Penguins said to the bubbles of light floating around her. “This way.” She turned to the left.

The mysterious silver flicker that had caught Laura’s attention from across the room turned out to be a not so impressive mirror. “Huh.” Laura thought out loud, looking at her refection in the mirror, “This as was waste of time.”

“Vhat are you doink down here?” the thick eastern European accent scared Laura so much she jumped three feet into the air before spinning around. An eerie, eerie looking Goth stood only centimetres behind her.

“Jesus! I didn’t see you ther…” Laura’s voice trailed off. “I didn’t see you…” she said puzzled and looked back in the mirror, then back at him. “You don’t have a reflection.” She stated.

“Zat is correct.” The eerie, eerie Goth replied.

“Huh.” Laura said.

Faster than you can say Ich liebe Rammstein, Till Hammerette was out of the deserted lair and riding her Motorrad toward the Chairman. She knew she should feel guilty about leaving Laura and Penguins behind but they had probably already gone and gotten themselves killed so it didn’t really matter anymore.

Till’s decoding of the Chairman’s poor German, had told her that his base was on the Mysterious Island of Mystery. The island was small and there wasn’t much there that could act as a lair for the Chairman. This led her to two possibilities; either he was hiding out at Pirate Cove, or his base was somewhere inside in the Spooky Forest. Till sped up. She had to be quick to catch the ferry to the Mysterious Island of Mystery.

“So you’ve found my lair” a voice spoke from down the corridor. Penguins couldn’t believe her ears. She’d found the Chairman’s lair, just like that? “Come, face your doom.” The voice continued.

“Alright.” Penguins nodded and stepped towards the voice. Her magic light bubbles lit the way and illuminated a dog blocking her path. “Wait a minute…” frowned with a mix of suspicion and confusion. “I didn’t know the Chairman was a dog…”

“I’m not the Chairman!” the dog replied.

“Sweet merciful crap! A Talking dog!” Penguins yelped. “Oh my God! Can I keep you?”

The dog was taken aback. “What? No! I’m a fearsome guardian. I’m the terrifying Maddog!”

“Aww, you’re so cute.” Penguins cooed. “I’m going to call you Madpup!”

“Maddog! It’s Maddog!” Madpup sighed and shook his head. “Whatever.” He said. “If you want to pass you’re going to have to fight me.”

Laura sat down beside the mirror across from the Eerie, Eerie Goth and he handed her a butterscotch lolly. She unwrapped it and popped the sweet into her mouth. “So what’s your name?” Laura asked him. “And what are you doing down here?”

“My name is O’Malley.” The Eerie, Eerie Goth replied. “I like ze dark so ze Chairman let me live down here. But he never visits. I get lonely, you know?” O’Malley shook his head. “And now he’s gone and left me. Didn’t even ask me if I vanted to come.”

“You poor thing!” Laura was appalled. “You should give that piece of work a piece of your mind.”

Time to “Choose Your Way”!

Does Penguins

a) Fight Madpup

b) Try and play with him

Does Laura

a) Ask O’Malley (the Eerie, Eerie Goth) where the Chairman went

b) Try and talk the Eerie, Eerie Goth into going with her to find the Chairman so he can give him a “piece of his mind”.

Does Till Hammerette

a) Go to the Pirate Cove

b) Go to the Spooky Forest

Remember:

Everyone can vote on what each character will do but the person who the character is BASED ON will have their vote counted for two.

Tell me your choice in the comments.

Featured in this story are Laura, Till Hammerette, the Chairman, O'Malley and Maddog (although without his permission! Oops!)

Story Saturday: Choose-Your-Way-Adventure Part Two

Laura looked at Penguins and bit her lip. “If we go back to Till Hammerette she’d just glower at us, wouldn’t she?”

Penguins nodded slowly. “You’re right. Better try our luck with the trapdoor. If we’re lucky there will be something monstrous down there waiting to tear us to shreds and we well never have to face Till again.” She lifted the door and followed the steps down inside the trapdoor with Laura following closely behind.

Meanwhile, back upstairs in the abandoned room, Till Hammerette was reading through the Chairman’s diary. “Dear diary, Zella was mean to me again today. I want to feed her to the piranhas but mum always said that you should keep good subordinates. This guy’s an idiot!” Till exclaimed, “Half of this is ripped off from Rorschach’s diary in Watchmen and the rest is him complaining about his subordinates sarcasm!”

Till flicked through the book with irritation. It was only because of stupid Penguins that she was doing this. If she was leader instead of that silly tuxedo-wearing bird-brain then she wouldn’t be flicking through this stupid book.

Till stopped flicking suddenly and turned back a few pages. She had seen something. “What is this? Some kind of code?” she muttered, thinking deeply. “Wait a minute… this isn’t a code… This is just really bad German!” She cracked down translating it. Maybe Penguins was right. Maybe there was something useful in this diary after all.

It was dark down the trap door. Laura fumbled for a light switch but stopped when she realised she couldn’t even find a wall. “Penguins! I can’t see!” Laura tried to grab for her comrade but no one was in reach, nor could she find back the ladder she had climbed down. “Penguins! Where are you!” she wailed.

Penguins had wandered off. The darkness didn’t seem to bother her. Eventually she turned to where she thought Laura was by her elbow and said matter of factly “I can’t see.” She walked on a little bit further before stopping again. “If I can’t see I won’t be able to find any clues.” She voiced her realisation out loud.

Penguins thought about this for a while. “I know!” she cried and spun around, sticking her fingers out in a V. “Super Magic Bubble Power!” she cried and blew out a cascade of bubbles, each filled with a glowing light.

“That’s better.” Penguins said, satisfied. She looked around her. She was at a T intersection in a corridor. To the right the passage had been stacked with several boxes and was strung with cobwebs, but the corridor was still manoeuvrable. To the left was the passage was empty. Laura was not at her elbow as she thought. Somewhere down the corridor to the left, something growled.

A soft, far off light lit up down a corridor, giving Laura just enough light to see the vague features around her. Far to her right was the ladder she and Penguins had come down. There seemed to be a collection of tables and shelves in the room and, a short distance to her left, there was a wall with a light switch on it.

Relieved, Laura skipped over to the light switch a flicked it, illuminating the room. “That light must have been Penguins.” She thought aloud and took a few steps towards the corridor the light had come from but an out of place flicker of silver caught her attention from the far side of the room. “I wonder what that could be?” she muttered.

Till Hammerette slammed the diary down on the table in triumph. “I know where you are, Chairman.” She grinned. “There are only two possible places you would have run.” She turned to fetch Laura and Penguins but hesitated.

Time to “Choose Your Way”!

Does Penguins

a) Go left

b) Go Right

Does Laura

a) Look for Penguins

b) Investigate the weird silvery flicker

Does Till Hammerette

a) Tell Laura and Penguins of her discovery

b) Screw Penguins and go search for The Chairman on her own

Remember:

Everyone can vote on what each character will do but the person who the character is BASED ON will have their vote counted for two.

Tell me your choice in the comments.

Featured in this story are Laura, Till Hammerette, the Chairman and Zella Kate also gets a mention in there.

Story Saturday: Choose-Your-Way-Adventure Part One

The Chairman’s Journal.

March 19th, 2011.

Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout 'Save us!' And I'll look down, and whisper 'no.' They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men. Decent men, who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers, and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.

All we can do now is break it down and start again.

Penguins threw down the diary and looked around the deserted room. Only hours before the room would have been full of activity, but now only a table, an empty bookshelf and a couple of chairs remained. “He’s always one step ahead of us.”

“We could have been here on time but you just had to stop at that bakery.” Till Hammerette snapped.

“I had to stop!” Penguins argued. “It’s not everyday you see a 24 hour bakery!”

“Don’t worry.” Super Laura smiled. “We’ll catch him next time.” Till Hammerette turned to glare at her but Penguins nodded enthusiastically.

“Look, we even have a clue” Penguins pointed to the diary. “Don’t you think it’s lucky he forgot this?”

Till Hammerette rolled her eyes, “He obviously left it behind on purpose to taunt us, Penguins.”

“Holy plot-twist, Till!” Laura exclaimed, “You really think so?”

Even so, Penguins thought that there might be something useful in the Chairman’s diary. Even if he had left it there on purpose, it was still a clue. She handed the diary to Till, “Have a look through it anyway. There might be something useful.” Till took the book but glared back grudgingly. Penguins turned to Laura, “Let’s look for clues in the next room.”

It didn’t take long for the pair to come across a trapdoor hidden beneath a rug. Penguins and Super Laura exchanged a look. “Well? Do we go down?” Penguins asked Laura.

Do they go down? Time to “Choose Your Way”!

Do Laura and Penguins

a) Go down the trapdoor

b) Go back and get Till Hammerette

Does Till Hammerette

a) Grudgingly look over the diary like Penguins told her

b) Screw Penguins and the diary and go search for The Chairman on her own

Remember:

Everyone can vote on what each character will do but the person who the character is BASED ON will have their vote counted for two.

Tell me your choice in the comments.

Depending on how many votes I get the next installment will either be tomorrow or the next day.

(Also, bonus points to whoever knows where the diary entry is from)