My Perfect Guy

I was looking over some of the older stuff on my blog and realised that I apparently love writing lists. So here's one more. I go this idea from a friends website who wrote the things he looks for in a girl.

So here's what I look for in a guy:

1. Is Holden Caulfield. Although anyone on my list to the right would suffice.
2. Is intellectually badass.
3. Is irresistibly drop-dead gorgeous, because I am superficial.
4. Can sing and will serenade me. Because there is nothing creepy about being serenaded except if it's with Every Breath You Take or something by A Day to Remember because that would basically mean I'd just been murdered by my perfect man. Which would suck.
5. Will sit through Disney movies with me and enjoy them. In fact, will also sing along with me.
6. The simple girly things: is willing to commit, is not a player, etc.
7. Has an incredible sense of humour.
8. Can put up with me and my me-ness
9. Is passionate about things.
10. Love to read
11. Shares my manga obsession.
12. Has amazing taste in music
13. Understands me perfectly.
14. Can get me backstage at a Rise Against concert
15. Is just all round fun to be with
16. Is an awesome gamer.
17. Will act childish with me
18. Has an epic accent.
19. Is NOT a psychopath
20. Loves me!

How do you score? Haha.

What do I wish for most?

What do I wish for most?

For fiction to be real.

I want Holden Caulfield and Peter Pan and Neverland. I want fantasy kingdoms and good versus evil.

I want a world that doesn't exist in reality.

And that's what sucks with being such a romantic.

If I have to be Joan Wilder can't I be her in the second half of Romancing the Stone, after she's met Jack?

Again, my fiction world doesn't exist in reality.

To Neverland, if only...

I never really wanted to grow up.

If Peter Pan flew up to my window tonight I'd probably fly off with him without any second thoughts. I'd miss my friends and family but, if I remember the story right (which I sort of doubt), I could still visit. I wouldn't stay away forever, just until I'm ready to grow up.

Think about it, I'd be the first Lost Girl.

Ah, but there my imagination is running away on me again. I need to stop living in this fantasy world. Stop dreaming of running away to Neverland, falling under enchantments, and loving Holden Caulfield.

But I can't say I will ever want too...

Life blood

Dreams sustain me. Dreams are my life blood.

Why do I dream?
I dream because I long for excitement, for a change in everyday life. I dream because I need to. Because I need something.
I dream of anything. I long for everything.
When I say dream I mean, think, daydream, imagine...
I crave more to life and that is what I dream of...

I'm not sure what I crave. Just something different. But what?

...and how different does it have to be...?

Zero motivation: Cloud envy

It's unfair.
Why can't I be a cloud
And drift on the wind
And never try?

More

I find myself wanting more.
And that's it... just... more.
I'm not sure how to explain it properly except to say what I all ready have.
I want more.

Rock

I'd give anything to be a rock
at the bottom of a stream.
Caressed by the river.
Emotionless and motionless.
Unmoving and unmoved.
For the rest of eternity.

The Wonderous

I don't think people understand that if you believe in the wonderous, if you trust and follow it, you'll be glad you did; amazed at what you find.

I don't think even I understand it, too cynical and unable to trust. The wonderous just passes me by, doesn't give me the second look I don't really deserve, and I don't even notice it until it's passed me by, by which time I stare wishfully after it, knowing what I have lost but just as unlikely to go after it the next time the opportunity presents itself.

And I wish for the wonderous to notice me, but my hypocrisy prevents me from noticing when it does, and this is why I will never be a story, why I will never have the inner journey or great epiphany I know it's time I have. Because i let the wonderous pass me by.

A poem found inside the cover of a book

If you are a dreamer, come in
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A Hope-er, a Pray-er, a magic-bean buyer
If you're a retender come sit by my fire,
Fore we have some flax-golden tales to spin
Come in
Come in

Shel Silverstein

I want to be...

I want to be more than just a name and a face.
I want to be an idea. A song. A game of chess. A dance. A breeze. A tree. A river. A wide and sweeping plain. A story. A love between two people. An ocean...
Do you understand what I am trying to say?
I want to be an emotion. A dream. A beauty.
I want to be more than just a name and a face.