Story Saturday: Guest Story by Tom Parker

Today's Story Saturday is a guest story by Tom Parker. The story features himself and some of his friends. My character was very much written in revenge for making him a bishounen in the Choose-Your-Way Adventure. You'll hopefully be able to read the rest of this story on his blog, Crusade Against Boredom, whenever he finishes it.
The Choose-Your-Way Adventure will be back in a fortnight, after I get back from my holiday in Brisbane.
Enjoy!

~

Beyond the furthest reaches of imagination there lies a land, untouched by progress. It has felt neither the sweet hum of the laptop computer, nor the vile screeching of the Miley Cyrus. A land where a frolic around the village green is considered a riot and a hemline above the ankle is scandalous.

In this village a dashing young man who goes by the name of Tom the Parker sat at the local tavern with his good friend Henry the Ander's son. Of what Tom parks, or what an ander is, nobody knows.

“Ho friend Henry” called Tom, “hoar art thee this fine summer morn'?”

“I don't know what you're trying to prove by talking like that,” he replied, “you sound like an idiot.”
“You're no fun Henry, it is this thing a passing traveller taught me. It is called 'trolling'. I want to write books to fool our descendants that we spoke like that.”
“And why do you think talking to me like that is going to change what the generations after us is going to think?”

“It won't. I'm practising.”

Giving up in frustration, Henry signal the barmaid, Becky. She came to the table, bringing with her two huge jugs, as well as some ale for the friends. “Have you two heard the rumours going around the town?” she said to them as she handed them their drinks.
“I certainly have, you naughty minx, got caught out on the lookout with another man didn't you?” Tom laughed as he winked at her.

“No I didn't you damn wool brained lumox!” She shouted hitting Tom on the back of the head.
“Are you sure?” Interjected Henry, “because I'd swear I heard-”

“No!” Becky hit Henry as well for good measure. “At least, that isn't what I wanted to tell you about. No, I heard that there was a strange girl wondering around town wearing outlandish clothes and carrying a staff.”

“A staff? Why would a woman have one of those?” Henry asked.

“Yeah” Tom added, “I mean, if she was a wizard I could understand, but she's a woman so she could only be a witch and they have broomsticks.”
Henry and Becky pause a moment to give Tom a confused look.
“Because it helps them clean.” Tom says, exasperated.

“Either way, I should go see if I can find this strange girl, it shouldn't be hard given the description you gave us.” Henry tells them before quickly gulping down his drink.

Tom waits for Henry to leave before getting up to go himself.

“Why didn't you just leave with Henry?” Becky asks him.

“Because I want to find her first! There hasn't been any proper cleaning done in my house for weeks!”
“How is finding that girl going to get cleaning done in your room?”
“Well, she's obviously a witch, so she must have a broom. And if she has a broom it stands to good reason that she would have other cleaning tools as well. Bye!” Tom shouts behind him as he goes to leave the tavern.
“Wait Tom!” Becky shouts out after him, “You didn't touch your ale!”
“It's ok Becky, I don't drink!” Tom races out the tavern.

Becky looks at the table, and mutter to herself “Neither of them payed for their drink.”

Tom runs out of the Tavern, thinking about how nice it would be if his house was clean. He was so caught up in his thoughts when he turned a corner he didn't see Henry until he ran right into him.

“Ouch! Watch where you're going Henry!” Tom said as he picked himself off the ground.

Henry just looked at Tom confused, then shouted “I LIKE FLUFFY CUTE THINGS.”

“What was that?” Tom quizzed him.
“I LIKE NEW CLOTHES.”

“Is something wrong Henry?”
“I MUST WORK REALLY REALLY HARD.”

A thought struck Tom. “You found the witch didn't you? She did something to you! Tell me what it is!”

But Henry's face kept it's vacant look.

“Damnit Henry think! Break the spell!”
But it was no good. Henry just started singing and looking for flowers.
I need to find out what that witch did to you, Tom thought, but I can't just leave him like this. I'd better take him back to the tavern where he will be safe.

“Henry! I am going to take you back to the tavern, I want you to stay there.”
“NO. I AM COLLECTING PRETTY FLOWERS BECAUSE THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE THEM.”
“Please, you'll be safe there, people can look after you.”
“I AM INDEPENDANT, A CAN LOOK AFTER MYSELF.” Henry suddenly looked defiant “I WON'T MOVE FROM THIS SPOT.”
A thought struck Tom, he started walking to the Tavern before calling back to Henry.

“Oh Henry! I hear that there are some cute kitties in that tavern.”
“OH EM GOSH!” Shouted Henry as he run towards the tavern before catching himself and turning to Tom with a suspicious look on his face. “ARE THESE... FLUFFY KITTIES?”

“Oh yes, like a toilet seat.” Tom reassured Henry.
“SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!” screeched Henry as he raced to the tavern waving his hands above his head.

Meanwhile, back at the Tavern at the table across from where Henry and Tom were before sat a lovesick girl named Penguins and her friend Jack. Poor Jack had been trying to engage Penguins in conversation but her eyes had been fixed on where Tom was sitting before. Even after Tom has left on his quest to find the girl Penguins had not stopped looking at his chair. Jack eventually gave up trying to make light conversation and asked Penguins why she was looking so glum.

“Oh it's nothing Jack, it's just that I think I'm in love with that man who was sitting over there.”
“You do? That's strange, I didn't know you knew him.”
“I don't, I only just saw him then, but something about the way he talked made me feel strange. It is like there are butterflies inside my stomach. But they aren't just normal butterflies, they are like, super love butterflies. Dancing with each other, like I want to dance with him.”
“Right…” said Jack with a doubtful look on his face, “Well, if that's the case you're in luck-”
“The butterflies are having children, and the children are puppies, sweet puppies playing with rolls of toilet paper. The toilet paper of love.”
“Well, like I said you're in luck-”
“BUT ALAS” Penguins talked over Jack “Our love is not meant to be. I do not know how to catch his eye, and how could a girl like me appeal to the epitome of masculinity that is man, who in no way looks bishonen.”

“WELL IN THAT CASE YOU'RE IN LUCK” shouted Jack, “BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO BE THE MASTER OF LOVE AND WINNING HEARTS.”
“Oh you are?” Cried Penguins with new found respect in her eyes, “Please teach me! So that I may be with the man I love. So I can love him, and care for him, and cook for him, and have his childre-”
“Are you ready to learn!” Shouted Jack, trying to block out Penguin's words.

“Oh yes!” Penguins nodded eagerly.
“Then let us begin. The first step is crucial, you must never, under and circumstances make any advances on him.”
“Never?” Asked Penguins.
“Never.” Repeated Jack, nodding his head. “This is the secret to my success.”
“How successful have you been Jack?”
“Quiet! I am the one asking the questions here!”
“No you're not-”
“I said quiet!”
It was just at that moment that Tom and Henry came back into the tavern.

“WHERE IS THE KITTYYYYYY!?” Shouted Henry, causing everyone to look at him and Tom. Becky storms over and tries to hush Henry but she only makes it worse. Henry sees Becky and exclaims “WOW! YOU HAVE REALLY REALLY BIG BOOBS!! HOW DID YOU GET THEM THAT LARGE?!” causing Becky to blush and run away to hide in a store room. Now everybody in the tavern had stopped what they were doing and was staring at Tom and Henry, trying to work out what was wrong with their old friend Henry. Penguins approaches Tom and attempts to strike up a conversation.

“Oh, my hi. Your friends seems to be a little er, wait. My name is Penguins, I mean, umm. So how is your strange friend, he seems a bit strange. Oops, I mean, not umm, I mean differently… to most people. Sometimes.”

Tom looks at Penguins in confusion, trying to make sense of all that. “Hello.. whatever your name is.”

When Jack saw Becky run over to the side-room he saw his chance. Like a bird of prey he swooped, entering the small side room.

“Aww, why are you crying like that Becky?” He said softly to her.

“Because EVERYONE was looking at my boobs!” She sobbed.

“Don't feel bad about it. Actually, everyone is ALWAYS looking at your boobs.”
“Really?” Said Becky, looking up at Jack.
“Yes, all the time. They're really hard to miss. They're like, titanic. Or rather, TITanic.”
This causes a new bout of wailing from Becky. Hmm, thought Jack, this won't be as easy as I had thought, my usual tricks aren't working, I'll have to turn it up.
“I don't think you understand Becky” said Jack, “I made a pun, you see, titanic, means really big, and tits are another word for boobs...”

Penguins and Tom were just starting to make progress.
“So.. your name is Penguins, and you think you can help with Henry?”
Penguins, not trusting her ability to make coherent sentences just nodded.
“Great!” Shouted Tom and hugged Penguins causing her to squeak and blush.
“Ok then, let’s see it.” Tom said excitedly.

Penguins, still blushing and dishevelled, turned to Henry but all she can get out is a squeak.
“Could you please turn around?” Penguins asks Tom in a whisper. Tom is confused by the request but he complies. Taking a deep breath Penguins turned back to Henry and shouted “OH MY GOLLY JOCKS!! I DO LOVE LITTLE ANIMALS! ”

Henry perks and replies in an equally loud voice “YOU DO?! THAT'S SOOOO WEIRD, I DO TOO! WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE?”

“MY FAVOURITE IS LITTLE KITTIES!”

“SO IS MINE! SQUEEEEE! HEY WHAT'S YOUR NAME?”

“PENGUINS!”

“HEY PENGUINS, LETS BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER, MY NAME IS ROSANNA!”

The whole Tavern exclaims.

Tom spins back around to Penguins and the person who is apparently named “Rosanna”.

“Do you mean, you aren't actually Henry?” Tom demands.

Just at that moment, the tavern doors open and Henry walks in. “That is not me”, he says in a loud voice, “that is my identical twin Rosanna!”

Answers for Mr. Tom Parker

My friend, Tom, over at Crusade Against Boredom recently wrote a blog post where he asked all the questions he would ask complete strangers if he got the chance and he asked us all to tell him our answers in a reply blog post. So here are my answers:

What kinda music do you like? Why? Did you ever like any other sort? What do you think of the indie scene? What about the mainstream stuff? Is there any music you hate? What do you think of people who get off knowing about obscure bands?

• I love punk rock and punk pop, and just punk and rock in general. I also like some metalcore and post hardcore. I used to like just about anything except rap and hip-hop, but then my cousin introduced me the Rise Against, AFI and the Alkaline Trio and I was enlightened. I first started listening to metalcore and post hardcore after my friend gave me an A Day to Remember CD and I asked him for more of his music. ADtR was a good transition from punk to hardcore, I feel. Now I love Parkway Drive and especially the Amity Affliction. I prefer indie stuff to mainstream stuff, not because I have a thing against mainstream music, some of its good, just that not much of it is to my taste. I don't search out music, I find my music by being introduced to it by others, so anyone who's into obscure bands has some respect from me, particularly if they're really good, obscure bands.

Do you watch TV? What about reading? Or do you play video games? Is the modern version of reading a novel playing video games? Or is the modern version of reading a novel reading a modern novel? Do you think people do it for the escapist element? Do you? Are you comfortable with that?

• I don't have a TV at my college, so I don't watch much TV. I do borrow TV series' from the library and then have massive marathons of the entire show. Recently did Bones and am now doing Gilmore Girls. While I am sometimes disappointed to realise I'm missing Spicks and Specks, I really don't miss TV.
• I love reading, although I'm very slow at it. It took me an entire year to read 1984 and it's one of my favourite books. Currently I have a Percy Jackson obsession and am sad that I finished the series and won't get to adventure with him again.
• I play computer games, but while I enjoy them, I'm not a fanatic. I just got Sims 3, so I'm pretty obsessed. I spent three hours designing my dream house yesterday. I still haven't furnished it. Portal is probably the greatest game ever, I'm sad not to have Portal 2 yet. Scribblenauts is a close second. I also love Counterstrike and Team Fortress. I wouldn't say games are the new novel, I feel movies are more likely to have taken that role.
• I'm definitely in it all for the escapist element, music too. Just about everything I do. I don't understand while reality is anymore worth living than a dream world. Sure, if it was as simple as travelling or succeeding, than you should live in reality, but if its magic and dragons and castles and BFG's and fairy princes, then the dream world is worth living.

Do you know your family history? Are you proud of it? Do you care at all?

• I wish I knew more of my family history. I'm heading into a career focus around history, after all. I know a lot of family stories, like my grandma's early like in Holland before WW2, but I know very little genealogy. On my mum's side everyone was illegitimate, so its hard to trace back.

Do you have a life story? Or do you think events are just happening and they aren’t connected?

• So far my life is just a bunch of crazy random events, some that are happy, some that are funny, more that are painful. Even if it doesn't fit together, it'd still be a hell of a story to tell one day.

Do you believe in a god or the supernatural? Do you believe what you’d like to be true or what you think is true? If you do, why doesn’t everyone know?

• I was brought up Catholic, by when I was eleven my mum told my brothers and I we could decide for ourselves. I'm generally agnostic. I like the idea of God, but I'm against organised religion. I believe more strongly in the BFG than in the bible. For a long time now fantasy and children's stories has been what I put my faith in.

Where’s the best place to have a date? Is a movie really a good place take a girl? Is it slutty for the girl to be the pursuer in the relationship. That is, the girl is the one who gets the guys phone number, asks him out etc..

• I think all of this depends on the girl and the guy. Movie and dinner is a good standard date, if you don't know the person that well. A good first date. It also says DATE pretty loud and clear if there was the chances of one party being unclear of the whole thing. If the two already know each other well, then the date should be crafted to suit them best. Also with a girl pursuing a guy, it depends on who the girl is and who the guy is, what they're like. I would never go as far as saying its slutty. It's chauvinistic to think that only guys can go the asking out.

A guy and a girl are on a date. The night went rather well but after they leave *wherever they were* and walk down a dark alley *for some reason* they get held up by a guy demanding their money. What should the guy in the date do? Hand over his money or fight the other guy? What is the mugger had a knife? Or a gun?

• Don't try and impress the girl, try and keep her safe. The safest option would be to hand over you things, take note of everything about the guy, when he's gone call the cops, make sure the girl gets home safely and comfort her if she's upset. If you want to be a hero, try and talk the guy into only taking your stuff, and not the girls. If she has a ring that belonged to her grandmother or something tell the guy you'd happily give him all your stuff if he doesn't take her ring. That's heroic. But still, I say safety first. Protect the girl, do what the guy says, call the cops.

When someone asks you how you are, what do you think of? What, to you, defines whether your life is going well or not? Having a boyfriend, good grades, good food, …?

• Normally when I get asked how I am, I reply with the courteous "Well, thank you. How are you?" Sometimes I'll just be over being courteous and answer how I feel. That's how someone ended up with the reply "I'm somewhere between happy and a total fucking wreck". Once, when I was in hospital and doped up on morphine I replied to "how are you feeling?" with "fucked up and numb".
• How would I define if my life is going well? My life is going well when I'm not depressed and when I'm not stressed. When I look less like a corpse and more like a normal person. A moment in which I can't stop giggling and I dance as I walk and I balance along retaining walls and sing without caring. That's when my life is going well. Strangely, when my life isn't going well, it can be kind of similar. I can't stop crying, I kick things and stomp as I walk and I scream out songs without caring.

How do you define yourself? Is it your taste in music? Is it who your friends are, what you own, what your job is, what you study, …? Is it possible to not like who you are? Do you like who you are? If you don’t, would you do anything to change it?

• Gosh, I don't know how I define myself. I hardly know who I am. I am what I am. I'm a ranter, a dreamer, a nutter, a pretender, a forgetter-of-punchlines, a hoper, a wisher, a rambler, a magic-bean-buyer, a historian, a reader, a crazy-dancer, a bad-singer, a penguin. I'm the girl who gives you my umbrella when it's raining. I don't know what I am. But these are a part of it.

So, what are your answers?

Aliases

Okay, so I just had a friend begin writing a blog and in his About Me information he has listed some of his various aliases. So after reading this I thought I'd share some of my various aliases with you guys.

Gaming Names:

I do a bit of LAN gaming with my brothers and their friends and every gamer knows that you need an epic gaming name. I have a few (they change with each game):

• Spawn Camper
• Sasuke's Lovechild
• The Abyssal One
• Harley Quinn

Superhero Names:

I admit, I'm a little superhero obsessed so I have a couple of superhero aliases:

• Grammar Girl
• Laurizzle
• The Cultural Vigilante

Nicknames:

I didn't realise I had any nicknames until I began thinking about it here:

• Lozzle
• Losenger
• The Crazy Scary Lady
• Scarecrow

Alter-Egos:

My brothers and I all have alter-egos we introduce ourselves as when we don't think we're ever going to see those people again.

• Hi, I'm Risa Hawkeye.

I also occasionally introduce myself as Harley Quinn.

Internet Names:

• Penguins_Quack

I've been Penguins_Quack for so long I can no longer remember what my LastFM username was.

So what are you also known as?

Xerxmania

So it's March and, because I have nothing else to do, that means planning my Script Frenzy for April. Do you remember me telling you about National Novel Writers Month back in November? Yeah, well similar thing, but you write a script.

30 days. 100 pages. April. Are you in?

Well, I'll be writing the script to Xerxmania: Xerxes the Musical, it's the play my Ancient history class planned while procrastinating instead of studying.

Xerxmania is the untold story of Xerxes second wife who petitions for divorce because she's not his favourite wife. The play was based of the idea that only the king's mother and favourite wife could sit at his table.
Anyways, here's me encouraging you to get involved in Script Frenzy this year. Now I'm going to run (well the crutch-using equivalent) off and procrastinate elsewhere.

My Life According to Rise Against

Okay, so my friend did this in a note on Facebook for U2 and told me I had to try it. Her U2 one was totally amazing and I didn't have a hope matching that, expecially when there was just one question that I couldn't answer when I tried with AFI. But I changed to Rise Against and was suprisingly sucessful. So check it out:

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Re-post as "my life according to (band name)."

Artist: Rise Against

Are you a male or female: Boy's No Good

Describe yourself: Like the Angel

How do you feel: Under the Knife

Where do you currently live: Whereabouts Unknown

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Anywhere but Here

Your favourite form of transportation: Paper Wings

Your best friend is: Savior

You and your best friends are: Worth Dying For

What's the weather like: Dancing for Rain

Favourite time of day: Halfway There

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: The Art of Losing

What is life to you: Historia Calamitatum (uh... it means the history of my calamities in case you were wondering)

Your relationship: Audience of One

Your fear: Weight of Time

What is the best advice you have to give: Sometimes Selling Out is Giving In

Thought for the Day: Remains of Summer Memories

How would you like to die: Chamber in the Cartridge

My soul's present condition: Everchanging

My motto: Rumours of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated


You should try it yourself. Once you get the right band it's pretty easy (unless you're my brother who tried at least four bands before finally getting Parkway Drive to work for him). It's almost like problem solving but with music so it's heaps of fun (and heaps frustrating). Enjoy.

NaNoWriMo Winner and Very Mild Super Powers

YES!!50 000 words have now been written and Scott, I have finally joined you!

All month people have been asking my why I was crazy enough to try and write 50 000 words in a month and, well, this feeling I have now is what made it totally worth it. Who would have thought that 50 000 words of pure torture would wind up being the worlds best drug? What can I say? I'm a masochist.

Although, even though I have now finished NaNoWriMo the stupid book is no where near finished. But don't worry, once I'm done and have edited it it would probably have been cut back down to something like 20 000.

Even so, after a full month of writing I think I'll be concentrating on other things for a while. I want to read more Skip Beat and One Piece and there are thousands of novels I want to read. I've finally started to read Lord of the Flies. And my friends have been bugging me to write the second issue of my comic, "Very Mild Super Powers".

I wrote the first one for an English assignment about belonging so the characters are all based on my friends and me. My character is Lorizzle (that's my brother's nickname for me) and my very mild super power is the ability to tell when someone is lying. Unfortunatly I don't understand sarcasm and am pretty much the dumb one in the group. Well we and Little Willy. He can secrete moisturiser from his pours.

The other characters include Ben Boy, who can shoot C-grade lazers out of his eyes, Pieman, who knows how things work, Bookman can read books through osmosis, Riksta, who can talk her way out of things, Kon, who can turn invisible when no one is looking, Confusious, who can confuse anyone, Court, who can turn hot things cold and is the only member of the tean who can swim, and Davetron who can sharpen objects with his mind.

I'm thinking of posting the first issue of the comic but I'm not sure how well it would work out.

Anyway, I'm really just rambling now so, Good day. I plan on going and buying Rise Against tickets for February.

Choice Halloween Costumes

Yeah... so, these exams are going to kill me...
I hate maths. And...
Dude, we got SCREWED on that Ancient history paper, GOD DAMMIT!!

Now that that's out of my system, its Halloween soon, and I'm dying to dress up so hooray for the Halloween disco this Friday. To celebrate the occasion, here is a list of my choice Halloween costumes:

1. Karl Marx: This wonderful communist here is my first choice Halloween costume. Unfortunately I don't have a suit to wear or that much (or any at that matter) facial hair. Also I've been told no one will know who I am, so that would be a bit of a bummer.
2. Dr. Who: This is who I'm actually going to go as, the fourth doctor, the one acted by Tom Baker. Scarf and jelly babies. It'll be awesome.
3. The sword and martini guy from KoL: This is another one people may not get, because, although the should, not everyone plays the Kingdom of Loathing. But just by dressing up as a stick figure with a sword and martini, I think you have a pretty cool costume.
4. A Newspaper: Tape a newspaper to your chest and voila! (My brother has stolen this idea of me which proves its gold). If you really want too you can accessorise, but why ruin the perfect outfit?
5. Dr. Horrible: Dr. Horrible from Dr. Horrible's sing-along blog is one of the greatest characters Neil Patrick Harris ever acted, in fact he was born for that role. Goggles and a lab coat, a pair of gloves, and you're the coolest and sweetest supervillian of all time. If you can convince a friend to dress as Captain Hammer then you have one of the Raddest pair costumes of all time.
6. Lady Gaga: Glitter and a wig. It's easy!
7. Edward Cullen: Same goes for Eddie C as it did for Lady Gaga
8. Kanye West: This is the greatest idea of all time, dress up as West, hide in the bushes and when little kids come trick or treating, jump out and say, "yo kids, Ima let you finish, but Christmas is the greatest holiday of all time!" (Look, I'm not giving you a link for this, I'm sure you've seen enough parodies everywhere else)
9. The Scout from TF2: What's more nerdy than dressing up as a computer game character? Nothing, that's what. And if you want to be the coolest nerd out than the Scout is the costume for you. The costume is easy: red or blue T-shirt, head-set and a baseball bat. I'm trying to convince a gamer friend to dress as the scout. He loves the idea but he doesn't think he has an outfit that's authentic enough.
10. Sheet Ghost: This is just so cliche that its totally awesome. People with out a sense of humour may not get the sheer genius of it but you will look seriously cute

Three Little Birds

I had a stairwell party today.
It was my friend's birthday and I've always wanted to host an elevator party, but, lacking an elevator, I had to settle for the stairwell.
So we set up a table and chairs (stolen from maths detention) in the stairwell, ate jelly and fairy bread, drank a lot of coke and laughed excessively.
We had maths teachers and a music-teaching conspiracy-theorist (who was aforementioned in my JFK spiel) try to steal our food, a substitute who thought it was the most exciting think she ever saw, and a music teacher who saw us as 'a problem'. The music teacher was easily bribed with my 'healthy' fairy bread and a handful of Allen's lollies.
We had sugar hits that must boarder overdose and sang Bob Marley.
I wore a tie.
I had fun.
So...
"Don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing gonna be alright..."

The assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy

I'm sure someone out there is wondering about the introduction of my poll and wants to now why I'm so curious about who killed J. F. K. so let me explain.

The year 11 modern history syllabus calls case study and every year my school does the Assassination of John F. Kennedy. I did this last year and thoroughly convinced myself that Jackie did it. But then someone asked my why you would pay someone to shoot the person sitting next to you while in a moving vehicle and my whole case crumbled. Instead I focused my case on the Secret Service and I think I built a very convincing argument and, although occasionally an argument breaks out between my friend as to whether it was the CIA or the Mafia, J.F.K. was forgotten about.

This years yr 11 modern history class has recently begun their Kennedy case study and old theories have re-emerged. My two person extension history class will be studying Kennedy this year and both of us having our differing theories a heated argument broke out one day in the library as yr 11 modern history listened to John F. Kennedy's inauguration speech. Our fight was broken up by a music teacher who KNOWS it was the Illuminati and we could not convince him any other way.

So now I want to know your thoughts. Who killed J.F.K?

Will you help me prove statistically that yes, it was the Secret Service? Are you with my friend and believe the Mafia are behind it? Do you believe the jazz musician-music teacher and blame the Illuminati? Do you begrudge conspiracy theorists and think Lee Harvey Oswald was a lone assassin? Or perhaps you have your own theory?

All theories are welcome! Tell me what you think!

Who killed J.F.K?

The Freak in the Bed Sheet

Why is it so absurd to wear a toga to a school sporting event?

I waltz down the street wearing it, waving a two-dollar plastic katana around my head (I don't know why I chose the culture clash, but it seemed to fit) and no one gives me a second glance. But the second I'm in with my peers I'm the freak in the bed-sheet.

The teachers thought I had a cool costume, my friend thought me brave, but to everyone else: the freak in the bed sheet.

But then, most of my friends weren't even there and those who were ranged from an exact Naruto double to a L33T gamer, so they're the type of people who'd find anything bizarre cool. But then again, those are the type of people I tend to befriend.

All the same, if a toga at a sporting event is a strange occurrence, I am still going to be the freak in the bed sheet.