Story Saturaday: Choose-Your-Way-Adventure Part 6

If you missed them, you can find part one, two, three, four and five here

“Woah now.” Tom backed up, prying Till’s fingers away from his collar. “Let’s not go making threats, alright?” Till ignored Tom’s attempt at diplomacy. She wanted information and she wanted it now. She swung the hammer at Tom again.

Tom drew a sword from his belt and blocked Till’s strike, by the hammer was still forceful enough to push him back a few steps. “Now, now, hold up.” Tom raised his hands but quickly had to drop them and raise his sword again when Till swung her hammer a third time. “Hold up!” Tom blocked her blow and stepped back out of reach. “I don’t want to fight a woman.”

Till glared at him. "Were you born without balls or did you just recently lose them?"

“Hey now! That’s just mean!” Tom crossed his arms defensively across his chest. It was a rather awkward gesture, with him still holding his sword. He unfolded his arms crossly and pouted. “I should let you know I’m rather well endowed, thank you very much.”

"He's like a hormonal teenage girl in a mansuit when he gets his feelings hurt." Someone whispered from across the bar.

“Hey!” Tom glared at the man who had spoken, but next to Till’s magnificently well-formed glare his looked like a pathetic frown on a cranky infant. “What’s with everyone attacking me today?”

“You’re a pirate! Fight back!” Someone shouted.

“Fighting women is not fitting with my character profile.” Tom retorted. “I’m surprisingly chivalrous.”

“If your chivalrous you wouldn’t mind helping out the lady.” A third man pointed out.

Tom thought about this. It’s true. If he was as chivalrous as he thought himself to be he would help out the lady. He sheathed his sword. “Okay, Miss Hammerette. I’ll help you out. I’ll take you to talk to Zella.”

“Madpup! Will you be my friend?” Penguins begged, reaching out her hand to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped his teeth at her extended hand.

“Madpup! Will you please be my friend?” Penguins begged, reaching out to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped at her hand but then sighed. “How much longer are you going to keep this up? It’s tiring.”

“I know what you mean.” Penguins replied. “I feel like I’m a robot stuck in an infinite loop but without the cool buttons and weapons and I don’t make beeping sounds. All I have is this -” She waved her umbrella at Maddog, “and can imitate sounds like this – beep beep bop beep bop bop beep – “

Penguins continued to beep while Maddog curled up into a ball with his paws over his ears. "I am visualizing putting duct tape on your mouth.” He muttered.

Footsteps echoed from down the corridor from which Penguins had come followed by a shriek. Penguins stopped beeping and looked up to see Laura with a very eerie, eerie Goth clinging to her., terrified. “Oh god!” the Goth squealed, “Its Maddog! We have to run away!”

“Run away?” Laura asked. “It’s a dog.”

“Maddog is the terrifying guardian of the Chairman’s lair. He’ll kill us all!”

“Don’t be silly.” Penguins told him. “Madpup’s my friend.”

“We never decided that.” Maddog growled.

Penguins rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. We all know you would have caved first.” O’Malley and Laura nodded and even Maddog had to agree.

Laura introduced O’Malley and explained how they were going to the Chairman. “Oh! I’m coming too!” Penguins hopped from foot to foot, excited and anxious to be on their way. Everyone glanced at Maddog.

“Fine,” He growled, “but I better get to maul someone.”

The group hadn’t gone far when O’Malley stopped. Laura turned to him, questioningly, and Maddog growled with impatience. “You know…” O’Malley began, “Now zat I have friends, scoldink the Chairman doesn’t seem to matter so much anymore.” He stroked his chin thoughtfully. “I don’t really need to go tell ze Chairman how I veel about him. I’d much rather go vor ice-cream.”

Zella was not what Till had been expecting. She had The Chairman’s right hand built up in her head as something of a James Bond villain – a black leather seductress – but instead she found a lanky college student with messy, waist length hair stuck under a collapsed pile of books.

“Are you sure this is the Chairman’s subordinate?” Till whispered to Tom, sure she had been misled.

“Yup. I’m certain.” He replied. “Isn’t she cute?”

Zella wriggled, trying to free herself from the pile of books. The pile was dislodged and books went spilling over her face. Zella whimpered as she disappeared under the avalanche. “Help! Someone! Get me out of here!” She cried.

“I will,” Tom announced, “in exchange for a kiss.”

“I know that’s you, Tom!” Zella cried from under the books, “And for the last time, I’m not kissing you! Now get me out from under here!”

“Alright,” Till stepped forward, “in exchange for some information on the Chairman.”

Does Laura

a) Go for Ice-cream with O’Malley

b) Continue with her mission to find the Chairman

Does Penguins

a) Go for Ice-cream with O’Malley

b) Continue with her mission to find the Chairman

Does Maddog

a) Go for Ice-cream with O’Malley

b) Go find the Chairman so he has someone to maul

c) Attack his new friends instead :O

Does Zella

a) Accept Till’s offer and tell her where the Chairman is

b) Accept Tom’s offer and give him a kiss

Everyone's a Hero

So I'm bored and haven't blogged in ages and for lack of anything interesting to write, I'm going to do this think Zella recently did on her blog where you put your Ipod/MP3 player on shuffle and answer the following questions with the song titles that appear. I've done it before in a note on Facebook where my iPod was obviously keen to embarrass me, but now I'm going to try again. I'll also link the songs, like Zella did. Sorry about the ads at the start of the Blink songs.

1. What do you like in a guy?
Over My Head (Cable Car) (the A Day to Remember cover). I don't like the implications of this...

2. What is your life's purpose?
Enjoy Your Day (Alkaline Trio). From the title, I'd say my purpose is simply to enjoy myself, from the lyrics, it's to be miserable while wishing happiness on others.

3. What is your motto?
Always (Blink-182). I guess I'll always try something? I guess?

4. What do your friends think of you?
Corporate Rock (Anti-Flag) My friends think I'm commercially oriented!? Well, I guess I deserve this after I told O'Malley that "if we were in a band and our manager suggested changing our sound I'd do it, after all, it's just good business". I'm such a sell out! *tears*

5. What do you think about very often?
The Ink and the Quill (Be Afraid) (Anti-Flag) One of my favourite songs that defined summer for me. When I think of summer I think of kites and driving around town with this song playing. So I guess I do think of it often, because summer was great and remembered fondly.

6. What does 2+2 equal?
Ten Speed (Of God's Blood and Burial) (Coheed and Cambria) In BASE 4! (Wow. That worked out well! Also, I find this song hilarious because it's about an author arguing with his bicycle over whether or not he should kill off his favourite character, based on his ex-fiance, that he is still in love with. The line "What would you know, you're just a bicycle" cracks me up every time)

7. What do you think of your best friends?
Chemical Warfare (The Dead Kennedy's) When my friends and I get together we unleash deadly chemicals on country clubs. Just ask O'Malley.

8. What do you think of the person you like?
Paper Wings (Rise Against) A love song. Of course. One that says I'm not waiting for you.

9. What is your life story?
Andy, You're a Star (the Killers) Damn right, I'm a star. But my name's not Andy...

10. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Elf Tower New Mexico (Coheed and Cambria) Yep. I want to be a fantasy creature.

11. What do you think when you see the person you like?
Down (Blink-182) Feeling depressed because you love someone who doesn't respond. Adequate.

12. What do your parents think of you?
My List (the Killers) (This is making it look like I only have about four bands on my iPod) Well, it's basically a love song, but I guess you could apply it to caring about your children?

13. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Paperthin Hymn (Anberlin) A song of a dying loved one? Great.

14. What will they play at your funeral?
Cold War Transmissions (Anberlin) Sorry, iPod, but I've already chosen my funeral song. I'm having There Will be No Violins When You Die by I Killed the Prom Queen. Sorry.

15. What is your hobby?
Veronica Sawyer Smokes (AFI) This song is about Winona Ryder's character in Heathers, which I have not seen. So either it means I like smoking (I don't) or Winona Ryder films (I've only seen a couple). I'm going to say my hobby is making things smoke, thus, catching stuff on fire. Ask my old chemistry teacher. I love fire.

16. What is your biggest secret?
Shell Shock (New Order) Either I'm hiding a case of combat stress reaction or heartbreak. I guess.

17. What do you think of your friends?
Ziggy Stardust (David Bowie) I've spent the entire of the song and more trying to figure out what this could mean. My friends are rock stars? Persona's of David Bowie? Well hung alien guitarists? I don't know.

18. What's the worst thing that could happen?
Seventeen Ain't So Sweet (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus) The worst thing that could happen? People could start using the word "ain't" instead of "is not". Ain't is not a word. Use isn't, thank you very much.

19. How will you die?
Girl's Not Grey (AFI) I think... from the lyrics... maybe... I'm just doing to lay down and die one day. In saddened sleep.

20. What is the one thing you regret?
Hello Again (Lost Prophets) My biggest regret is hiding away from the world.

21. What makes you laugh?
From Heads Unworthy (Rise Against) This is a song about taking a stand and apparently I laugh at that. Why? Because I think it's funny that you think you could change anything. Hahahahaha.

22. What makes you cry?
Second Solution (The Living End) What can I say? Death Row is scary.

23. Will you ever get married?
The Tale of Sir Robin (Monty Python) I'm not afraid of marriage , but I might bravely run away.

24. What scares you the most?
Stationary Stationery (Anberlin) Being ditched by the guy I like, simply put.

25. Does anyone like you?
The Unwinding Cable Car (Anberlin) (Enough with the Anberlin already!) I guess? Not exactly a love song but it does have the line "I'll guard your heart".

26. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
Historia Calamitatum (Rise Against) The history of my calamities. When I go back in time I'm going to exploit it for the sole purpose of fixing the things that went wrong in my past. Because I'm selfish.

27. What hurts right now?
I Feel So (Box Car Racer) Everything hurts.

28. What will you post this as?
Everyone's a Hero (Nathan Fillion/Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) I shall do as you wish.

Well, unlike when I did this on Facebook, I didn't get too embarrassed by my music. There's no Naruto soundtrack playing at my funeral this time. I have to defend my iPod, though, I do have a greater variety of music then what is shown here. It's not only Anberlin and Blink-182. My shuffle just wasn't very inventive today.

Story Saturday: Guest Story by Tom Parker

Today's Story Saturday is a guest story by Tom Parker. The story features himself and some of his friends. My character was very much written in revenge for making him a bishounen in the Choose-Your-Way Adventure. You'll hopefully be able to read the rest of this story on his blog, Crusade Against Boredom, whenever he finishes it.
The Choose-Your-Way Adventure will be back in a fortnight, after I get back from my holiday in Brisbane.
Enjoy!

~

Beyond the furthest reaches of imagination there lies a land, untouched by progress. It has felt neither the sweet hum of the laptop computer, nor the vile screeching of the Miley Cyrus. A land where a frolic around the village green is considered a riot and a hemline above the ankle is scandalous.

In this village a dashing young man who goes by the name of Tom the Parker sat at the local tavern with his good friend Henry the Ander's son. Of what Tom parks, or what an ander is, nobody knows.

“Ho friend Henry” called Tom, “hoar art thee this fine summer morn'?”

“I don't know what you're trying to prove by talking like that,” he replied, “you sound like an idiot.”
“You're no fun Henry, it is this thing a passing traveller taught me. It is called 'trolling'. I want to write books to fool our descendants that we spoke like that.”
“And why do you think talking to me like that is going to change what the generations after us is going to think?”

“It won't. I'm practising.”

Giving up in frustration, Henry signal the barmaid, Becky. She came to the table, bringing with her two huge jugs, as well as some ale for the friends. “Have you two heard the rumours going around the town?” she said to them as she handed them their drinks.
“I certainly have, you naughty minx, got caught out on the lookout with another man didn't you?” Tom laughed as he winked at her.

“No I didn't you damn wool brained lumox!” She shouted hitting Tom on the back of the head.
“Are you sure?” Interjected Henry, “because I'd swear I heard-”

“No!” Becky hit Henry as well for good measure. “At least, that isn't what I wanted to tell you about. No, I heard that there was a strange girl wondering around town wearing outlandish clothes and carrying a staff.”

“A staff? Why would a woman have one of those?” Henry asked.

“Yeah” Tom added, “I mean, if she was a wizard I could understand, but she's a woman so she could only be a witch and they have broomsticks.”
Henry and Becky pause a moment to give Tom a confused look.
“Because it helps them clean.” Tom says, exasperated.

“Either way, I should go see if I can find this strange girl, it shouldn't be hard given the description you gave us.” Henry tells them before quickly gulping down his drink.

Tom waits for Henry to leave before getting up to go himself.

“Why didn't you just leave with Henry?” Becky asks him.

“Because I want to find her first! There hasn't been any proper cleaning done in my house for weeks!”
“How is finding that girl going to get cleaning done in your room?”
“Well, she's obviously a witch, so she must have a broom. And if she has a broom it stands to good reason that she would have other cleaning tools as well. Bye!” Tom shouts behind him as he goes to leave the tavern.
“Wait Tom!” Becky shouts out after him, “You didn't touch your ale!”
“It's ok Becky, I don't drink!” Tom races out the tavern.

Becky looks at the table, and mutter to herself “Neither of them payed for their drink.”

Tom runs out of the Tavern, thinking about how nice it would be if his house was clean. He was so caught up in his thoughts when he turned a corner he didn't see Henry until he ran right into him.

“Ouch! Watch where you're going Henry!” Tom said as he picked himself off the ground.

Henry just looked at Tom confused, then shouted “I LIKE FLUFFY CUTE THINGS.”

“What was that?” Tom quizzed him.
“I LIKE NEW CLOTHES.”

“Is something wrong Henry?”
“I MUST WORK REALLY REALLY HARD.”

A thought struck Tom. “You found the witch didn't you? She did something to you! Tell me what it is!”

But Henry's face kept it's vacant look.

“Damnit Henry think! Break the spell!”
But it was no good. Henry just started singing and looking for flowers.
I need to find out what that witch did to you, Tom thought, but I can't just leave him like this. I'd better take him back to the tavern where he will be safe.

“Henry! I am going to take you back to the tavern, I want you to stay there.”
“NO. I AM COLLECTING PRETTY FLOWERS BECAUSE THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE THEM.”
“Please, you'll be safe there, people can look after you.”
“I AM INDEPENDANT, A CAN LOOK AFTER MYSELF.” Henry suddenly looked defiant “I WON'T MOVE FROM THIS SPOT.”
A thought struck Tom, he started walking to the Tavern before calling back to Henry.

“Oh Henry! I hear that there are some cute kitties in that tavern.”
“OH EM GOSH!” Shouted Henry as he run towards the tavern before catching himself and turning to Tom with a suspicious look on his face. “ARE THESE... FLUFFY KITTIES?”

“Oh yes, like a toilet seat.” Tom reassured Henry.
“SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!” screeched Henry as he raced to the tavern waving his hands above his head.

Meanwhile, back at the Tavern at the table across from where Henry and Tom were before sat a lovesick girl named Penguins and her friend Jack. Poor Jack had been trying to engage Penguins in conversation but her eyes had been fixed on where Tom was sitting before. Even after Tom has left on his quest to find the girl Penguins had not stopped looking at his chair. Jack eventually gave up trying to make light conversation and asked Penguins why she was looking so glum.

“Oh it's nothing Jack, it's just that I think I'm in love with that man who was sitting over there.”
“You do? That's strange, I didn't know you knew him.”
“I don't, I only just saw him then, but something about the way he talked made me feel strange. It is like there are butterflies inside my stomach. But they aren't just normal butterflies, they are like, super love butterflies. Dancing with each other, like I want to dance with him.”
“Right…” said Jack with a doubtful look on his face, “Well, if that's the case you're in luck-”
“The butterflies are having children, and the children are puppies, sweet puppies playing with rolls of toilet paper. The toilet paper of love.”
“Well, like I said you're in luck-”
“BUT ALAS” Penguins talked over Jack “Our love is not meant to be. I do not know how to catch his eye, and how could a girl like me appeal to the epitome of masculinity that is man, who in no way looks bishonen.”

“WELL IN THAT CASE YOU'RE IN LUCK” shouted Jack, “BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO BE THE MASTER OF LOVE AND WINNING HEARTS.”
“Oh you are?” Cried Penguins with new found respect in her eyes, “Please teach me! So that I may be with the man I love. So I can love him, and care for him, and cook for him, and have his childre-”
“Are you ready to learn!” Shouted Jack, trying to block out Penguin's words.

“Oh yes!” Penguins nodded eagerly.
“Then let us begin. The first step is crucial, you must never, under and circumstances make any advances on him.”
“Never?” Asked Penguins.
“Never.” Repeated Jack, nodding his head. “This is the secret to my success.”
“How successful have you been Jack?”
“Quiet! I am the one asking the questions here!”
“No you're not-”
“I said quiet!”
It was just at that moment that Tom and Henry came back into the tavern.

“WHERE IS THE KITTYYYYYY!?” Shouted Henry, causing everyone to look at him and Tom. Becky storms over and tries to hush Henry but she only makes it worse. Henry sees Becky and exclaims “WOW! YOU HAVE REALLY REALLY BIG BOOBS!! HOW DID YOU GET THEM THAT LARGE?!” causing Becky to blush and run away to hide in a store room. Now everybody in the tavern had stopped what they were doing and was staring at Tom and Henry, trying to work out what was wrong with their old friend Henry. Penguins approaches Tom and attempts to strike up a conversation.

“Oh, my hi. Your friends seems to be a little er, wait. My name is Penguins, I mean, umm. So how is your strange friend, he seems a bit strange. Oops, I mean, not umm, I mean differently… to most people. Sometimes.”

Tom looks at Penguins in confusion, trying to make sense of all that. “Hello.. whatever your name is.”

When Jack saw Becky run over to the side-room he saw his chance. Like a bird of prey he swooped, entering the small side room.

“Aww, why are you crying like that Becky?” He said softly to her.

“Because EVERYONE was looking at my boobs!” She sobbed.

“Don't feel bad about it. Actually, everyone is ALWAYS looking at your boobs.”
“Really?” Said Becky, looking up at Jack.
“Yes, all the time. They're really hard to miss. They're like, titanic. Or rather, TITanic.”
This causes a new bout of wailing from Becky. Hmm, thought Jack, this won't be as easy as I had thought, my usual tricks aren't working, I'll have to turn it up.
“I don't think you understand Becky” said Jack, “I made a pun, you see, titanic, means really big, and tits are another word for boobs...”

Penguins and Tom were just starting to make progress.
“So.. your name is Penguins, and you think you can help with Henry?”
Penguins, not trusting her ability to make coherent sentences just nodded.
“Great!” Shouted Tom and hugged Penguins causing her to squeak and blush.
“Ok then, let’s see it.” Tom said excitedly.

Penguins, still blushing and dishevelled, turned to Henry but all she can get out is a squeak.
“Could you please turn around?” Penguins asks Tom in a whisper. Tom is confused by the request but he complies. Taking a deep breath Penguins turned back to Henry and shouted “OH MY GOLLY JOCKS!! I DO LOVE LITTLE ANIMALS! ”

Henry perks and replies in an equally loud voice “YOU DO?! THAT'S SOOOO WEIRD, I DO TOO! WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE?”

“MY FAVOURITE IS LITTLE KITTIES!”

“SO IS MINE! SQUEEEEE! HEY WHAT'S YOUR NAME?”

“PENGUINS!”

“HEY PENGUINS, LETS BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER, MY NAME IS ROSANNA!”

The whole Tavern exclaims.

Tom spins back around to Penguins and the person who is apparently named “Rosanna”.

“Do you mean, you aren't actually Henry?” Tom demands.

Just at that moment, the tavern doors open and Henry walks in. “That is not me”, he says in a loud voice, “that is my identical twin Rosanna!”

Story... Sunday?: Choose-Your-Way-Adventure Part 5

Sorry it's late, I was going to post yesterday but I decided to go have a life and party with some friends. Also, sorry it's so short and obviously rushed. I've had a busy couple of weeks.

“Down this corridor?” Laura asked, following O’Malley’s extended finger to where he was pointing. O’Malley nodded uncertainly. “I think my friend, Penguins, may have gone this way.” Laura said offhandedly. “We might find her.”

“Your friend?” O’Malley queried, “I thought… I thought I was your friend…” He pouted and fidgeted with his cape.

“You are my friend, silly!” Laura told him, “Penguins is my friend too.”

“You can have more than one friend?” O’Malley was shocked by this new knowledge. The idea of having more than one friend was so hard for him to comprehend.

“Don’t you have other friends?” Laura asked.

“No.” He replied still in a daze, “You’re my first.” Their footsteps echoed quietly through the corridor and the florescent lights on the ceiling flickered. It wasn’t long before the passageway came to a fork. To the right the corridor had been stacked with several boxes and was strung with cobwebs, but the corridor was still manoeuvrable. To the left the passage was empty except for some eerie, echo-y noises.

“Left or right?” Laura asked O’Malley.

“Madpup! Will you be my friend?” Penguins begged, reaching out her hand to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped his teeth at her extended hand.

“Madpup! Will you please be my friend?” Penguins begged, reaching out to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped at her hand.

“Madpup, be my friend?” Penguins reached out to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped at her.

“Madpup, please be my friend?” Penguins begged.

“No.” Maddog snapped.

“Madpup, be my friend?”

“No.”

“Madpup –”

“No.”

Till Hammerette was less than impressed by Tom’s offer and her glare clearly reflected her feelings. “Alright, Tom,” Till said his name as if it tasted bitter in her mouth, “if you want a kiss, why don’t you kiss this!” Till pulled out her Hammer of Massive Clobbering and swung it at Tom’s head.

It hit him directly in the mouth and he stumbled backwards, falling over and landing flat on his rear end. “Ow! Oooww.” Tom wailed, “Why’d you do that? That was so mean!”

Till grabbed Tom’s collar and pulled him to his feet. “Tell me where I can find Zella or I’ll hit you again.”

Does Laura

a) Go left

b) Go right

Does O’Malley

a) Go left

b) Go right

Does Maddog

a) Give in

b) Keep refusing Penguins

Does Penguins

a) Give in

b) Keep trying to be Madpup’s friend

Does Tom

a) Withstand Till’s awesome influence and fight her

b) Give in and tell Till where Zella is

Story Saturday: Choose-Your-Way-Adventure Part Four

Sorry everyone for such a long wait on this one. After my computer died it took a bit of effort getting back into this and also with work and assignments it's been a long break. I'll try and start doing this a bit more regularly again, but no promises. Sorry.

On to the story!

Till Hammerette’s heels kicked up dust as she walked through the dirt streets of Pirate Cove Town. The Cove had seemed like a good place to start, but now she was here she had no idea where to look. She didn’t know the Chairman well enough to slip into his mind and consider “if I were the Chairman where would I be?” so after hours of inconsequential searching she wandered around the streets of the pirate town heading, in a round-about way, towards the docks. Eventually Till admitted that this might not be something she could do on her own.

Forlorn and weary, Till stumbled into a tavern, The Typical Tavern, and ordered a drink. There had been a pirate tavern Till had frequented back in her old bootlegging days at the Pirate Bay on the mainland which had been characterised by loud, filthy pirates, fighting, spilling drinks and playing rounds of Insult Pong. The tavern Till now found herself in was nothing like µTavern and the name, Typical Tavern seemed rather unfitting. The patrons of the Typical Tavern wore clean, neatly pressed collared shirts. No one shouted and no one pushed. The tables were clean and the floors freshly mopped. Not a drop of alcohol had been spilt anywhere within the property. What appalled Till the most was the abundance of pleases and thank you’s and the serious lack of anything that resembled Insult Pong. In a quiet form of rebellion Till dipped her index finger into her pint of rum and used to the liquid to trace “R+” onto the bar.

MEANWHILE in Maddog’s Lair:

“Madpup! Will you be my friend?” Penguins begged, reaching out her hand to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped his teeth at her extended hand.

“Madpup! Will you please be my friend?” Penguins begged, reaching out to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped at her hand.

“Madpup, be my friend?” Penguins reached out to pat him.

“No.” Maddog snapped at her.

“Madpup, please be my friend?” Penguins begged.

“No.” Maddog snapped.

“Madpup, be my friend?”

“No.”

“Madpup –”

“No.”

MEANWHILE in the basement of the Chairman’s abandoned lair:

“You’re right.” O’Malley nodded. “I should give him a piece of my mind.”

“Good for you!” Laura clapped, “I was just trying to find him. Maybe we can go together?”

O’Malley considered this. He would certainly feel braver about confronting the Chairman if he had his new friend with him. “Zat vould be very nice.” He replied, smiling and showing off his pointed canines.

“Awesome!” Laura cheered, “Lead the way!”

“Right… Uh… It’s this way.” O’Malley led on.

MEANWHILE: back in Pirate Cove:

Till flicked her fingers, signalling to the barkeeper to poor another glass. Early on through the first she had reasoned to question those in the bar about the Chairman’s whereabouts but by the time she had finished the glass and questioned three patrons she came to the conclusion that it was not a task to be done sober. Now on her fifth glass Till approached a young, bishonen pirate lounging in a booth, drinking sake and making eyes at two ladies across the room.

“You. I need information. Now.” She greeted the pirate.

He looked up and her and beamed, showing off his teeth. “Well, how you doing?” He nodded at her. “The name’s Tom, who might I have the pleasure of speaking to?”

“Tell me all you know about the Chairman.” Till answered.

“I will if you tell me your name, beautiful.” Tom flashed a winning smile.

“Don’t call me beautiful.” Till growled. “My name’s Till Hammerette. Tell me about the Chairman.”

“Sure, sure.” Tom waved for her to sit down beside him but instead Till just crossed her arms across her chest and glared. Tom sighed. “He’s got this really gorgeous chick who works for him. Kind of nerdy. All glasses, books and sarcasm. Real top-notch girl. Zella’s her name, I think, Zella-Kate.”

“You know Zella?” Till asked coarsely. “Where is she?”

“I’ll take you to her,” Tom beamed, “In exchange for a kiss.”

Does Penguins:

a) Give in

b) Keep trying to be Madpup’s friend

Does Maddog

a) Give in

b) Keep refusing Penguins

Do O’Malley and Laura

a) Go back up the ladder

b) Go down the tunnel

Does Till

a) Give Tom a kiss

b) Break out the MC Hammer

This chapter introduced Tom from Crusade Against Boredom.

See the previous parts here, here and here.